Thursday, June 2, 2011

MommyHood, My Dream

"What do you think of starting to try to get pregnant?"
I definitely took Lupe surprised when I asked him this one very randomly! We had only been married about 3 months, and during our premarital counseling we both agreed to wait a year before starting our family. But, one afternoon while Lupe was at work- I started thinking and 'planning' in my head (we all know how dangerous this can be). According to my 'calculations' on paper, the clock was ticking- not that Lupe and I were OLD, but we weren't young either. Lupe is 9 years older than me, and if we waited a year- assuming it probably wouldn't happen immediately- I would be 33, and Lupe 42 when we had our first- putting 3 years between the 3 children we had initially planned to have- meant I would be around 40 and Lupe 50 when we had our last (did I mention I was a planner)and I wasn't loving the thoughts of that.
3 Months
Okay, in FULL disclosure, I guess I should confess that there are some underlying reasons for my sudden change of heart.
I mentioned earlier, that my team of doctors- years previous- were doubting I would ever be able to have children. They wanted to do tests to make determinations of all the damage my body had endured, but I chose not to look into my fertility possibilities, and would cross that road when/if necessary. So, 3 months into our marriage I was ready and wanted- no, needed- to know. Well, I thought we better take my uterus out for a test drive. Also, I was very lonely, lost, and a bit depressed- I've never thought it fair to give a child a job upon conception- but I guess I kind of did that, the job was to fill my void and bring another element of happiness. Of course, these are things that children naturally bring.
6 Months
Lupe said YES- he had no argument to begin trying to have a baby RIGHT then and there!! We decided to keep it quiet and didn't say much to anyone about our decision. We had tried a few months and I still wasn't pregnant- after reading that as a Diabetic I should ideally see my doctor before hand- I made an appointment. Lupe and I went in and met Dr. Edwards, he told me some things I needed to do to prepare my body and also told us to STOP trying until my body was ready. UGH! NOT what I wanted to hear- but I did comply, well sort of.
There was that ONE time! Wouldn't you know that it's when you stop trying that you actually get pregnant! That's what happened!
8 Months
I remember taking the test- POSITIVE, then Lupe said to go get another to make sure. I called my mom on the way to the store- so excited. The doctors were WRONG! At the same time, I was a bit nervous- I hadn't taken all the med's the doctor wanted me to have in my system.
3 wks to go, and swollen!
I went a couple weeks later to do the confirmation with the doctor. I'd been feeling pretty good up and to that point. We went in and Dr. Edwards was pleased that at least I'd been on the med's over 30 days and had all the other stuff done. After our appointment we decided to celebrate with my favorite- chicken wings and a salad- not a smart choice! We lived 45 minutes from Houston, where my doctors were, the whole drive home I was beyond sick! We finally had to pull over so I could run into the bathroom and get sick, and sick, and sick- to the point of almost passing out- unfortunately this would be my fate for the next 9 months.
Tenly's here- Perfect!
But, the best part of the beginning  of this story is- the Doctor's were so wrong- and my God showed Himself so faithful.......................and although I was having a difficult and lonely time- I was gaining a whole new part that I'd dreamed of my whole life.

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