Time For A Facelift..

.. or, I guess it should say a "Bloglift". That's right, this Blog (and Mom) have evolved and that means I am making some changes. Let me explain a little.. I have "found myself" (not totally, but a good percentage)...

When I began this Blog (you can go back to the beginning)- I was selfishly doing it for me and this was one time I was okay with being selfish. I was about to take myself through a painful, but necessary, process of prying through the good, bad, and ugly of Jenn Garcia. I was proud of myself for finally being brave enough to face the true "Me" and deal with the many things I had been avoiding. 

The Blog was titled, "Jenn, Finding Myself Again.." and it has been documenting my process of trying to rediscover me, my talents, who I am at my core and what God has called me to. I felt my identity had been lost in "just" being a Wife and Mother. My first post was titled Jeremiah 29:11, at that time that verse was my lifeline.

I believe one of my first break throughs was when I made the Blog public. My survival for a very long time was based on how people perceived me- that's what had me on this impossible uphill battle to perfectionism, which I will never obtain. This process has taught me to give myself permission to "let go".

So, my discovery? My family is what God has called me to right now. I know this seems so "simple" and why has it taken me a year to come to the conclusion that being a Wife and Mom is sufficient? Maybe because it wasn't really as much of me losing my gifts, talents and abilities; but it was more about me not being able to locate them anymore underneath all of the anger, bitterness and junk I had allowed to corrupt my heart and mind.

My gifts and talents have never gone anywhere, and now I realize that I have my family to pour them into. At times, I have been given other opportunities to use them in other areas- but not at the expense of my family. 
Writing this Blog has given me the opportunity to connect with many other Moms’ and Women- that has been very refreshing! That takes me to my new objective for this Blog. It will be geared more towards Mom's- but Women also. Recently, I have been grabbing insight from so many other Mom's- because I felt it important that we learn and support each other instead of the need to "one up" or compete. I will be honest, some of the answers to questions I have asked have challenged me to reevaluate my ways, some have helped me embrace/understand differences and some have reinforced why I do things the way I do. I realized through the answers just how judgmental I have been towards Mom's who do things differently from me- I have a new appreciation for other methods and realize I can't judge because I don't know. The biggest shocker, I have made some changes in how I do some things after hearing how/what/when/why Mom's do things the way they do.

I will be continuing to spotlight other Mom's- I LOVE reading what they have to say! I will also be continuing to hit on a variety of other things as they come to mind or heart.

Thanks for sticking with me, following, and reading. The support has helped me in this process. If you have not joined this group, I ask you to do so and pass it along. The site will have a new title and maybe a new look; so don't be caught off guard next time you check in! Thanks for going on this journey with me....

Totally Missed The Point

It suddenly HIT me last night....I had totally missed the whole point! I do not usually do posts so closely together, but after my sudden revelation last night- I had to write an update!

If you did not read my post from yesterday, I will do a little recap.

I'm in the process of starting a new Bible Study at church, Me, Myself, & Lies: A Thought Closet Makeover. The study challenges you to become aware of your thoughts and how they affect you in the different areas of your life. After the awareness, you are challenged to change your thinking into what God says and to disengage from worry, anxiety, and negativity.

That process brought me to realize how negative my thinking was and the reality that I saw myself as unimportant, useless, talentless, not needed/necessary. It was very disturbing and pretty much shook me to the core.  I could not believe I did not serve any purpose outside of a wife and mother- not that those are not important and celebrated- but I needed to be more.

That discovery and revelation of my thoughts felt like I slammed into a brick wall.

It was not until last night while I was cooking dinner that the light bulb suddenly went on! I was doing it again- letting my and what I believed to be others thoughts and opinions of me control me. The premise of this study is to replace the negative "stuff" with what the Word of God says.

Jeremiah 29:11 (the verse I've been "standing" on), says the complete opposite of what I have been feeling, not to mention the many more verses that I read, and read, and read!!

It's almost embarrassing to realize how I so easily almost missed it all only to begin spiraling downward again. I do not really know what my purpose, talent, usefulness, or importance is- but, I can say that I know I have one- huge difference!

I have mentioned Ann Voscamp in my posts before, but I wanted to tell everyone about The Joy Dare: Count 1000 Gifts in 2012 . It is also an opportunity to change your thinking. Everyday of 2012, you are challenged to be grateful for 3 things. Ann even has a "prompter" for every day to probe your thinking. It is a "Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are". Wouldn't that be incredible, to embrace and enjoy every moment to the fullest- from doing laundry to a sweet a gift? At some point, maybe at the end of the year, I hope to have my list of 1000 gifts and may even put them in my blog. I hope some will join me and grow with me....

Out of The Comfort Zone, Here Goes Nothing

Once we arrived in the Fort Lauderdale area, we quickly started searching for a church. Personally, I knew better than to wait. I guess I was kind of aware of the "state" I was in, and knew that if I took a break for weeks or months, I would get complacent and comfortable and would stop going. Deep down, it was also very apparent that I needed to continue to be fed the Word and be surrounded by others who would keep me encouraged and focused on God. Not to mention, I always want my kids to know that this is what we do as a family- we go to church to worship God and keep ourselves centered in Him.

We pretty quickly made the decision to join Community Christian Church, before we even decided that this would be our church home- I saw a Bible Study for Mom's that I knew was for me.

It wasn't comfortable to join a Bible Study where I didn't know anyone at all, and really didn't even know the ins and outs of the church yet. I just knew, that I needed some time to focus on Me and leave encouraged and uplifted- I knew this enough to force myself to show up, I am so glad I did. During that study, I met and have some of the closest friends I have had in a long time.

Joanne was the leader of that first Bible Study I did at CCC, and has become a wonderful friend. While planning the Studies for the school year, Joanne mentioned to our Connection Director, Stephanie, that she thought they should ask me to do a Thursday morning Study. I was a bit taken aback when I received that phone call. I couldn't believe it, someone saw potential in me? Enough potential to allow me to speak into other women's lives?

After prayer and talking with Lupe, I said Yes and felt the excitement building. I'll admit there were a couple times that I panicked because of past experiences in ministry related stuff- but I jumped the hurdle and plowed ahead. We're calling the Mom Group "Manna For Mommies" and are studying a book by the name of Real Mom's Real Jesus by Jill Savage. During the planning stages of our upcoming women's event (tomorrow!) where all the Studies for women will be introduce- Stephanie thought all of the Study leaders should speak. Now, I'm not very intimidated by a stage. Anyone who knows me, knows I am very talkative (some would say to talkative) and am typically not intimidated by people. But, as the day (TOMORROW) has grown closer, I have felt myself getting so nervous. Joanne and I both decided that we would do a fun monologue type thing before speaking. I think this is bringing on a bit of my nervousness- as much as I enjoy acting- it's been a LONG time!

Our decorations thus far.

Joanne and I have had a lot of fun planning for this event (this is my first and she's done a ton), so after we and a few of the ladies finished arranging all of the decor (pics to come) we had the opportunity to rehearse with the other 3 ladies. It went well, and I am so lucky that we had the opportunity to run through the monologue- it put me at ease and made me feel very confident that I am going in the right direction and God has guided me while writing it. I am speaking on being "One of The Good Moms". We're hoping to have a good enough recording so I can post it on here.

SO, as I sign off to go pray and memorize lines (SO hard, I feel like I pushed out my memory with the placenta and what didn't come out then my girls sucked out while breastfeeding, lol.), tomorrow around 10:00am- say a prayer for myself and the CCC ladies Ministry Team. We want this to be a safe place for women to let down their guard and trust God to meet them at their point of need.
I'm finding myself again, and to be honest- it's not where or how I thought! Doesn't it always seem to go that way? I'm realizing that on this journey, it's a little scary not knowing what's coming around each corner- but shockingly enough- it's a bit enjoyable and not all bad (can you hear that optimism coming out, lol?). Jeremiah 29:11- He knows!