Stephanie: Determined To Be A Mom

No questions and answers today, rather a story. I asked my friend Stephanie to tell her story, and I will warn it is one of heartbreak and of celebration.

I met Stephanie when she was a student at Texas Bible Institute- Stephanie is full of life and fun! We were able to watch as Stephanie met the man that would be her husband- it was so special to see them fall in love and begin their life together.

When I first read the story you are about to read, I was overwhelmed imagining the difficulty. There is much to be taken away from what is written below, and I am so thankful that Stephanie (and Doug) was willing to tell their truth so that others can have hope…

"My name is Stephanie, my husband Doug and I will have been married for 4 years in November.  Before we were married Doug expressed to me how he wanted children, it was exciting to know that as his wife I would be able to give him his dream.  We talked about waiting until after our 1-year anniversary.  I began birth control and we were very careful. 

When the time came, I stopped the birth control and we did everything we could to conceive.  After a year of trying with no success, we decided to stop and just let it happen. I began to blame myself for not being able to give my husband what he wanted – that resulted in me locking myself away from him (I avoided letting him touch me or even have sex with me as much as possible) 

A few months later, in October 2010, we discovered we were pregnant.  We were overwhelmed with joy and couldn’t express enough thanks to God.  We were 12 weeks along when we decided to tell our family.  I was feeling great until one day at work I started to bleed and my mom told me we should go to the hospital and have it checked out. When we got to the hospital I told God whatever happens He is in control.  They discovered that the baby was only 6 weeks along, but my uterus was 12 weeks.  They could not find a heartbeat so they sent us home and told us to “let nature take its course”.  The day we miscarried was the worst day of my life.  It was so painful I felt like I was in labor.  When the baby passed, I caught it in my hand; it was so sad and I felt defeated by God and everyone in the world.  Eventually, I came back to reality we decided not to try again for a while.  BUT, we discovered in December 2010, that with no trying we were pregnant for the 2^nd time.  It was VERY unexpected and part of me wasn’t sure I was ready to do this again.  I was so shocked; I took 5 pregnancy tests to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing, we gave all the glory to God.  We had our first OBGYN appointment in January 2011 that’s when we discovered that the baby had no heartbeat but the doctor was sure the baby was just too small to hear or even see one. So we waited 2 weeks and went back and that’s when we found out we lost another child. 

I felt like my life was over and I didn’t want anything to do with life or even God.  I stepped down from the praise team, from the youth and from all my responsibilities to do with the church.  I wanted nothing to do with God or the church.  I felt like God let me down.  I didn’t understand why ME or US in this case.  One day I was sitting at home in my own pity party thinking, I’m better than this.  So I got up and changed my mindset.  That day we decided to not try until we were ready and comfortable with the idea of being pregnant again. 

So in September 2011 we discovered we were pregnant again; a few weeks later in October 2011 we learned we had lost this little gift also.  My heart was overwhelmed with sadness and I was concerned that I would never be able to give my husband what he always wanted.  I felt defeated once again.  I told Doug that I was sorry; I felt like it was my fault because it was my body.  We once again decided not to try again; we were going to once again wait on God. 

In late 2011 we went to a high risk OBGYN she said we shouldn’t give up but maybe we should look into in vitro or something like that.  We decided for us this was way too expansive and we would just wait on God.  We had to completely give everything to God even the babies we lost.  We chose not to talk about the other miscarriages and just to put it all behind us.  I’m not going to lie, it was hard but we did it.  We decided not to be intimate with each other for a few weeks until we were ready.  So when the time came, we were intimate- just 1 time.  When God says it’s your time then it’s your time. 

On December 22, 23, 24 of 2011 I took a pregnancy test without anyone knowing.  When the first test came back positive I had to sit down because I just could not believe my eyes.  I called my mom and told her I was pregnant but couldn’t see how, we were intimate only once in the last few weeks.  She told me “Baby it’s a GOD thing.”  That’s when I knew this pregnancy was going to be different than any other pregnancy we had gone through.  I just knew God was in all this and it was only Him that could have made this happen. 

I held out telling Doug and the family till Christmas.  So, needless to say, it was a very exciting Christmas!  We had decided to not tell any other family or friends until we reached the “safe” point.  On our first OB appointment we were able to hear the heartbeat and it was in the high 160’s.  When we were 14 weeks Doug said I think it’s time to tell the good news.  So we did.  

This has truly been the biggest miracle and blessing we could have ever asked for.  We truly see why we have gone through this, Doug and I would not be the people we are today if we had not gone through what we went through.  I LOVE and respect my husband more today than I had ever thought I could.  He is my strong hand and I just know because of the man he is today that he is going to be the world’s greatest daddy any little girl could hope for.  We are truly blessed and with 5 weeks to go I feel love for this little girl like no other.  We can’t wait to see our AliMae Lynndi Billingsley. We wanted to give her a strong name so we named her after my grandmother who has passed away, Linda Mae Plaisance Cantrelle.  We are a close family and I have to think that she would be a proud great-grandmother."

Stephanie has agreed to do a follow up post after Miss AliMae arrives with tons of bragging pictures to go along. I ask that everyone who reads this will keep this incredible family in your prayers as they are about to embark on one of the best journeys ever…parenthood.

Rachel: Chosen To Be A Mom..

Going back to my college days with my former roomie, Rachel today. I don’t even know where to start introducing her- I have so many memories! Rachel and I did not quite know how to take each other when we first met; she was one of my new roommates among the 7. We figured out pretty quickly that was because we were alike in many ways! One of those realizations was when we quickly decided we needed to decorate our dorm apartment- it took us no time at all to make a plan to get started (By the way, we definitely had the cutest apartment on campus).

 We all became friends almost immediately. Rachel was a load of fun and loved to do things crazy and unexpected- unlike myself- so she definitely helped me learn to let my guard down. Later, she and I began working with a family giving therapy to their autistic son.

It was not until after Rachel and I both became Mom’s, that we realized how similarly we parented. After talking one day, we kind of realized that much of that probably came from our training with ABA therapy working with autistic children. That training truly did make me a better Mom.

Every time I see posts from Rachel on Facebook, it always makes me wish we lived closer together. She is such a passionate Mother (one thing I love about Rachel, is she is truly passionate about everything she does). Rachel is determined to be the best Mom she can be and raise the best Children she can by being an intentional parent. Her answers to many of my questions caused me to look at things differently and gave me a new appreciation for things. I am confident that after reading Rachel’s story and answers, many are going to take away something new:

I'm Rachel Bevilacqua (yep, that one took me a couple weeks to learn how to spell).  I've been married to an incredibly wonderful man, Joe, for just over 5 years. He's Italian and he can COOK!  We have two girls - Natalie Chase is 4 1/2 and Emerson Kate is 4 months.  We met in Florida where we were both living at the time, but after Natalie was born, we moved back to Alabama (where I grew up) to be nearer to my family.  I teach 10th grade English in the same high school from which I graduated.  In my spare time (otherwise known as the 5 minutes a day when no one is calling my name) I love reading, crafting, event planning, and graphic design.  I tried being a stay at home mom for 2 years and it was the worst 2 years of my life.  I love my daughters to death, but I have to work.  I gave up the idea of being a SAHM in order to keep my sanity and decided instead to make "working mom" work for us.  So far, it's been great! 

Are you a Scheduled or Non-Scheduled Mom? What are the benefits and downfalls to your choice?
    I'm definitely not a scheduled mom, but I am a routine mom.  We pretty much do things (meals, baths, outside play, naps, errands, etc.) in the same order every day but not always at the same time.  I'm a planner, but by that I mean that I need a daily agenda or a to-do list.  It would be way too stressful for me to try to keep myself and my 2 girls on a time schedule - probably because things always take a lot longer than I think they should.

What is your biggest Mommy Pet-Peeve?

Natalie Chase

    Maybe this question should say,  "What aren't your pet peeves?" because I have quite a few.  I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a perfect parent.  I get it wrong a lot.  But some people just get it VERY wrong.  My biggest mommy pet peeve would have to be irresponsible (or maybe even absent-minded) parents.  I have to try very hard not to get angry when I see infants improperly fastened into a car seat (or worse - being held in someone's lap), or parents who open the car door then turn to walk across the parking lot without ever looking back to see if their child actually made it our of the car, or seeing a parent to absorbed in their shopping to notice that the little one is lagging several feet behind. There is no excuse for parents who don't care enough to pay attention to their child's safety.

Your funniest/most embarrassing “Mom/Child’ moment?

    I so wanted to answer this question.  I've tried for two days to come up with a good story.  And... I've got nothing.  I guess it's because 1) nothing my kids do really embarrasses me.  Usually if there is a potentially embarrassing situation brewing (i.e. - a grocery store meltdown), I will quickly retreat to my car and we will ride out the tantrum there.  And 2) Natalie is HILARIOUS!  She has us laughing non-stop.  But, that means all my funny moments sort of run together and I can't pick just one to tell.  I'm sad that I can't really answer this one. 

Emerson Kate

Do you have a secret “Mommy Confession”- something that you did/didn't do that you are willing to share?

    This might have fit under the "mommy guilt" category, but I can't decide if I feel guilty about it or if I'm a genius for doing it. Saturday is my sleep in day and I will do everything in my power to keep it in tact.  Fortunately, I have an infant who doesn't wake at all until about 8:45-9:00 each morning.  Unfortunately, I have a four year old who wakes with the sun (or before).   But, I have devised a plan to keep my Saturday morning sleep in time intact.   On Friday nights, I fill a spill proof cup with milk, put a granola bar on the kitchen counter, and a Disney movie in the VCR (yep, I said VCR... thanks to my Nana, we own every Disney movie ever made on VHS).  When Natalie wakes on Saturdays, she knows she can get the milk and granola bar and turn on her movie.  She's not allowed to wake me until the movie is over unless there's an emergency.  Most of the time it works beautifully!
 

What are your “non-negotiables” when it comes to your kids?

    On occasion, I will ignore poor behavior (for example - whining or hyperactivity if they're extremely tired or bored, or we're in a public place where correcting them would cause a bigger scene), but I will never ignore disrespectful behavior - and, believe me, with a strong-willed 4 year old there's plenty of it.  I guess being a high school teacher has given me plenty of examples of what happens when a child is not taught the correct and polite way to speak to adults.  I am determined not to have bratty, disrespectful children.  I want people to love my kids and enjoy being around them, not dread to see them coming.

What was your biggest fear when you found out you were going to be a Mom? 

    I think most expectant moms are afraid that they'll make mistakes, won't know what to do, and will be bad mothers.  I didn't think that.  I felt very confident from the beginning that I could be a great mom.  My fear was that I didn't want to be.  I had wholeheartedly decided years before that I didn't want children - I had a job I loved, had a dream of traveling, not being tied down, etc. So, when my now husband and I found out we were pregnant after dating for only 4 months (and only just beginning to talk about the possibility of marriage), it was like a slap in the face.  I didn't want a child, I wasn't married, and even though I was 26 at the time, I felt like "that girl".  You know the one - the one everyone secretly judges for getting pregnant before getting married even if they're smiling and supporting her to her face.   But, we decided to "make the best of it" and casual talks of marriage quickly turned into wedding plans.  I was 13 weeks pregnant on our wedding day, and, honestly, still getting to know my groom.   The next few months were difficult as I came to terms with the fact that I was married, pregnant, and probably giving up a lot of my dreams.  But, I did come to terms with it, embraced it even and decided that maybe being a wife and mommy wouldn't be so bad, but it wasn't until I was holding my minutes-old baby girl that I realized that not only could I do this and do it well, but that I'd been chosen, called by God to be a mom.

 Do you have a funny “labor” moment?

   With Natalie - I was in labor for 24 hours before having an emergency c-section because I had stopped dilating and she was becoming distressed.  But, during the 24 hours of labor I wasn't in any real pain (thanks to an epidural), but no matter what I did, I couldn't get comfortable.  Every time a nurse came in, I asked for a pillow for my back, legs, etc.  I even sent Joe out into the hospital a few times to look for pillows.  When the time came to move me to the OR for the c-section, the nurse started removing pillows from my bed and started laughing because they just kept coming.  I had managed to shove 15 pillows in the bed with me during labor.  My whole family still jokes about this almost 5 years later. 

    

One thing that you do for your kids- because you love them- but you absolutely dread it every time?

    Thanks to Netflix and a night of reminiscing, my wonderful, wishes-he-was-still-ten-years-old husband decided to introduce Natalie to the old 1980s Transformers cartoons.  She LOVES them.  I definitely do not!  But, she begs me to watch them with her, and I do because she loves it so much.  (Sometimes she makes me pretend to be "Momma-tron”, ugh!)

What is something you said you would NEVER do with/to your children that you have found yourself doing?  

    I swore that I would never let my kids (as infants) sleep in our bed, but as a baby/toddler Natalie was terrible sleeper and I was getting up 4-5 times a night just to settle her.  After many sleepless nights, I decided it wasn't worth not sleeping just to say I didn't let my kids sleep with me.  I finally chose to put her in our bed and when I did we both slept better. 

     I also said that my child would eat whatever I had prepared for dinner and that I would never fix a separate "kid" dinner.  But... Joe works late so he and I usually eat dinner about 8pm most nights.  Since I need to feed Natalie earlier than that, I usually let her choose what she wants for dinner. 

 Your biggest Mommy “Aha” moment?

    My biggest "aha" moment was when I realized that the parent isn't always right (even thought we'd like to think we are) and that when we mess up we need to apologize to our kids.  I remember the first time I apologized to Natalie for losing my cool while disciplining her.  She stared at me wide-eyed and mouth open...and then ran to me, buried her face in my chest and said "It's okay, Mommy.  I'm sorry too."   We're big on apologies and give them freely around here because we're human and we mess up, but we're also family, and we love each other anyway.

What is the best piece of advice you could give to a new Mother?

    As a new mother you will get a lot of advice (all of it well-intentioned, most of it sound), but don't forget that your instincts as a mother are better than any piece of advice you get.  You know your child better than anyone (even better than their pediatrician), so if something seems wrong, question it and if something you try doesn't work, change it.  You don't need anyone else’s approval to do what you think is best for your child.

Also, I try to remember this when I get frustrated or impatient with my kiddos:  Most of the time, a misbehaving child is a bored child.

Chelsey:"A REAL Housewife of Glenwood Springs"

Chelsey, a wonderful Texas friend, was so kind to answer a few of my "Mommy Questions". It didn't surprise me at all that she had me laughing through many of her answers. Chelsey and I became Mom's around the same time while we were both on staff at the camp, and found comfort and many laughs with each other throughout some difficult times.
A great memory of Chelsey was when I went to the hospital to see her while she was in labor with her oldest, Aspen. The nurses directed me to her room without hesitation, so I was caught off guard when I walked in. I found her laughing and asking for food as I then had to walk past her legs hiked up and extended with Dr. Edwards down there stitching up "her stuff"- while over in the corner her husband, Michael, was holding perfect Aspen Rose. But, that's Chelsey!
Our girls, Tenly and Aspen, even had their ears pierced together with our friend Kim's little girl, Bella. Because Tenly was about 16 months old, I was terrified to do it, so Chelsey and Kim held her to have them done. Wouldn't it figure that she didn't even cry, I totally underestimated that kid.
Chelsey has always been a very understanding friend who could always make me laugh in the right moments, and keeps me "grounded". It was a sad and happy day when they drove all of their belongings off of the camp road to start their new life in Colorado. But, it has been wonderful to see all the dreams they are experiencing together as a family.
Here are some of Chelsey's insights and experiences as a Mom:

Ears Pierced: Chels & Aspen, Me & Tenly, Kim & Bella

My name is Chelsey and my husband, Michael, and I are originally from Texas, and we moved to Glenwood Springs, Colorado in 2008. We had our daughter, Aspen, in August 2007 and our son, Gunnison, in August 2010. We have been married for 6 years and love living in Glenwood Springs. First, because it's so beautiful here. Second, There's so much to do! We love to hike, bike, swim, tube the Colorado, fish, hunt and many other things! We can do every single one of those things in our own town; we're on a permanent vacation!
Scheduled or Unscheduled Mom? What are the benefits and downfalls to your choice?
The only schedule that we keep is going to church every Sunday morning. I like my kids to fly by the seat of their diapers! I don't keep my kids on such a strict schedule that it can never be broken and the poop hit's the fan. We do eat breakfast, lunch and dinner and take naps around the same time everyday. Keeping the schedule a little loose allows my kids to be flexible in any situation. Man, when Aspen starts school it's gonna rock my world!
 What is your biggest Mommy Pet-Peeve?
My biggest pet peeve is when I see other parents allowing their children to pretty much do whatever they want with no consequence. Like throwing fits in the store, kids not sitting down in shopping carts, running amuck in public places, disrespecting authority, etc. Parents need to stop trying to be their kids friend and start acting like a parent. People wonder why so many teenagers these days are disrespectful and rebellious.

Your funniest/most embarrassing "Mom/Child Moment"?
We were in Khol's and my daughter all of a sudden throws up all over herself in her stroller (always keep a spare set of clothes even after potty training- you never know). I had to take her all the way across the store to the bathroom to get her cleaned up. I passed a woman and she gave me the ugliest face when she saw my daughter. I almost told her to take a picture so it'll last longer, but I didn't! It's not like I fed her ipecac so that I would know what it felt like to get myself into strange social situations, it just happens!
Given the opportunity, what- if anything- would you do differently as a Mom?
As a Mom, I am continually learning to have more patience. I'm sure that's every mom, though. My daughter is very strong willed and she knows how to push all my buttons. I love my daughter, but there are many times when I dislike her behavior and I am hoping that when she gets older, she'll use that trait to her advantage. There will be no stopping her and the goals she can achieve. But, in the meantime, she can be extremely hard to deal with!
Did the way you were parented shape the way that you parent your own children?
I think the biggest impact my parents had on me was the way they interacted in their own marriage. They didn't talk about things very much and never seemed to be on the same page. I always told myself that my marriage would be different, and it is. I believe that you need to have a strong marriage before you even think about bringing children into the world. 
I had a pretty great childhood, actually. Both of my parents worked, so I was a daycare kid from the age of 6 months to 12 years. During the summers I was able to go on all types of field trips and things, so I did get to experience more things than what my parents could have ever done on their own.
So, Mom's who must place their children in childcare- don't fret over the thought of leaving your kids with someone else all the time, kids learn a lot form interacting with other people an they'll make a lot of friends.
Did you breastfeed? Did you feel pressured to/not to?
I breastfed both of my kids and I plan to breastfeed the other children that we plan to have. It's kind of funny that with my daughter, I breastfed her until she was 4 months old and had to stop because I stopped producing. So, with my son I was bound and determined to not let that happen again. My goal wa to make it to 6 months and then go from there. When he was 3 months old, I got kind of tired of breastfeeding since it became more of a hassle (it was more difficult being out and about more), so that's when I weaned him. 
I never did feel pressured, but I did want them to have a good strong start. I'm all for breastfeeding, but would NEVER pressure a mom/new mom to do it. I would certainly want them to know all the facts about breastfeeding vs. formula before making a decision. New Mom's have plenty of worries without others adding their expectations- support is the best thing to give to a new Mom.
Do you have a funny "labor" moment?
When I was in labor with Aspen, I had to push for over an hour! My husband was on my right side holding up my head, and then right in the middle of a big push his elbow hit the button to lower the bed (it happened more than once!). Everyone jumping asking, "What just happened?" It is funny to think of now, but not then!
When I was in labor with Gunnison, because of how long I had to push with Aspen, my husband thought it necessary to pull up a stool to sit on so he could be comfortable, too! TOO??!  There was no TOO- I was in no way, shape or form comfortable!
They checked my cervix when I was at 6, so the OB went to take a nap (8:30am) while I was transitioning. I started to feel a lot of pressure and the urge to push, when they checked me I was at 10 (9am). They made me wait to push until they were able to get my OB in the room! I had to "hold him in" for 30 minutes waiting for the doctor- my son was born at 9:42am! I was NOT comfortable!
What is your "secret" addiction or obsession?
I guess I feel like I don't have enough drama in my life, so I watch all of "The Real Housewives.." shows on Bravo..New Jersey, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, New York, etc! I definitely get my drama fix!
One thing that you do for your kids, because you love them, but you absolutely dread doing it?
Brushing their teeth! I know, it's sad, isn't it? But, my husband dreads it, too! I cannot wait for the day when they can brush their teeth on their own, but until then, it's a necessary evil.
What is something you said you would NEVER do with/to your children, which you find yourself doing?
I always said that I would NEVER let my kids drink soda. My daughter is almost 5, and I only allow her to drink clear sodas with no caffeine. My son is almost 2, and he can only have lemonade. My kids drink water, milk, and 100% fruit juice most of the time, but soda and lemonade is something they only get on occasion.
Labor: with drugs or without drugs?
I had epidurals with both of my kids and I plan to continue to do so for my future deliveries. I'm all for women who choose to go all natural...they're more "woman" than I am! HaHa!
What is the best piece of advice you could give to a new Mother?
Some new Mom's know their limitations and want/need help while others are gung-ho "I'm gonna do this without any help" Moms. Please know that there's no shame in asking for help and advice. Don't try to be Super Mom because you'll run yourself ragged trying to do so. Being a Super Mom comes with time, practice, and a full nights sleep (in other words, almost impossible)! 

The BEST "OOPS" That's Ever Happened....

OKay- To be honest, I had planned to write something else- but then I thought it only fair to tell this part- on top of the fact that it's just plain WONDERFUL.... Who's Plan Are We Suppose To Follow Again?

I'm a planner! I like everything organized, you know the "There's a place for everything, and everything in it's place" kind of girl. My family pick on me about being OCD- I am so NOT OCD- although I can be a little extreme at times- but have gotten much better (I don't vacuum 3 times a day anymore). I like things clean and neat and despise clutter. If it doesn't have a use, purpose, or truly important meaning- it does not belong. I use my organizer/planner to coordinate and plan everything- my husband I go to bed with our plan for the next day. I, and my family, function best this way.

I said all of that to say this, I (we) 'planned/organized' our family also. But, my plan was clearly not 'His' plan. We weren't going to have children for 1 year (although, I already wrote about our intentional change of plans on that one), we wanted 3 children all 2-3 years apart. Isn't that a great plan? Of course it is, just not the one for us!

Tenly was 10 MONTHS OLD when I found out I was pregnant with our second baby. I was sick, and unreasonably emotional. Quick story, I was in church (didn't know I was pregnant) and VERY aggravated at my husband over something (Lupe and I rarely fight)- I was so upset I had to walk out to calm myself down. I was trying not to look/talk to anyone because I knew I'd get even more upset. My friend, Carrie, saw me and immediately knew I was not okay. I told her, I can't say anything, I'll cry more. She finally convinced me to talk to her, and after I explained how horrible Lupe was and how upset I was she had a funny look on her face as she quietly shook her head. Carrie then gently took my hand and asked, "Jenn, are you pregnant?"! I laugh now, because I was so aggravated that she said that- I just looked at her and said NO, I cant be! Looking back, yes, I was very unreasonably emotional!

You see, I could not be pregnant because I was birth control and breast feeding- so there was NO way! Boy, was I wrong. After crying while watching a comedy sitcom, I put my shoes on and walked out of the house. Lupe ran after me asking what was wrong and where I was going, while sobbing I yelled I was going to buy a pregnancy test. He was STUNNED, and 3 pregnancy tests later I was still in denial.

I was so scared to be pregnant with a child still in diapers, this WAS NOT in my plan- and I had told God MY plan- wasn't He listening?

My pregnancy was much like my first, except I only lost 29 pounds during my 9 months of sickness instead of the 39 I lost with Tenly. I remember Tenly's 1st Birthday party- I  had about 80 people outside 'partying' while I ran in and out of the house puking. My WONDERFUL friend (couldn't of done it without her), Sandi, decorated, held my hair while I puked, cleaned up, and took care of Tenly when Lupe took care of me. No one but Sandi and Lupe really knew how bad I was doing that day- I was a great faker that day!We found out we were having another girl (I was blessed with a husband with no gender preference for his children). I always loved the fact that I have my Daddy's initials- and since we had decided that this would be our last child- we thought that would be a great thing to do with Gianna Avie. The end of this pregnancy was crazy- I ended up in ICU with a pain in my ribs under my chest that they couldn't diagnose. While in there I gained 20 pounds over night- literally- no exaggeration. It made the doctors confused and concerned when we couldn't get rid of the water I was retaining. After being put on bed rest and finally finding out Gia's lungs were developed- my doctor called me at 9pm to tell me to come in at 5:30am for the c-section (she was breach).

Gianna was born at 7:32 weighing 7'6 (she was a month early)- she was perfect and came to the room immediately- No NICU this time! What a miracle!

That's why Gianna Avie, is the best "OOPS!" that's ever happened to me! Gianna wasn't in my plan at that point- but she was in God's plan- which just shows that His plan IS perfect!

Tenly Maria Garcia; July 23, 2006

15 Weeks

One thing I'm sure of- I'm called/skilled/gifted/blessed to be a MOM......................

Pregnancy! As hard as it was for me, I LOVED it! Now, I can say that the great part of a High Risk Pregnancy- was I had 1-2 (or more) ultrasounds a month- I loved seeing her grow. The ONLY good part of throwing up for 9 months is that I only gained 4 pounds and came out of the hospital in pre-pregnancy jeans- now THAT is HUGE! I'll never forget the first time I felt Tenly kick- that must be the most amazing feeling- I still miss that I'll never feel that again. I loved how I looked pregnant (well, before the swelling) and the joy of that little girl growing inside me.

23 Weeks

Throughout my  pregnancy, I was suppose to see my doctor every 2 weeks (high risk pregnancy)- I ended up seeing him closer to 4-5 times a month- my doctor and I became very close! Not only could I not eat, I could not drink without puking- being a Diabetic just added fuel to the fire! I was in and out of the hospital throughout the whole pregnancy. Going into my 2nd trimester- my veins were shot from all of the IVs and blood tests. Dr. Edwards made the decision to put a PICC line in so they wouldn't have to hit my veins anymore and I could get nutrition/fluids at home through an IV- all in hopes of keeping me out of the hospital. I cried so much, I felt like a walking piece of medical equipment between the insulin pump and now this 'thing' on my arm! Anyway, ultimately- it worked! Poor Lupe, he had to run back and forth from work hooking and unhooking my IV line- he was such a trooper (not to mention, he would wake up 2 times in the middle of the night to check my blood sugars). My 3rd trimester brought about Preclampsia- which equals an unplanned induction. I slept through most of my labor (Epidurals are God's gift)- until time to push.

32 Weeks

They were concerned about her lungs and the potential of her having a low blood sugar- I was so drugged up and weak from the med's- they had to use the vacuum to get her out. Tenly Maria Garcia was born at 3:32pm weighing 6'3 (and that little thing still managed to rip me something fierce, lol)- my miracle and joy.  I was able to see her for a few minutes before they ran her into the NICU. It was difficult as everyone came in to congratulate us- they all kept asking what she looked like and I couldn't remember, I'd only seen her a few moments. It was a little over 24 hours before I was able to hold her- but it was so great when I did! Lupe was the first to feed her, and was actually the first to change her diaper and dress her- that was special for him and I loved that he had those moments to cherish. Tenly looks just like her Daddy, and her personality and demeanor- is (almost frightfully) 100% her Mommy!Tenly did her 'job', she filled me with joy and purpose, and even when I didn't feel like fighting for myself- I would (always will) fight for her.
The most amazing part of this story is the doctors told my that everything I just described would never happen- my body had endured too much damage years earlier. It was a very tough and exciting time to be pregnant- every time I threw up or went into the hospital or couldn't eat/drink- I only had to see the sonogram picture of my little girl- then I remembered it was all for a miracle.

MommyHood, My Dream

Newlyweds

"What do you think of starting to try to get pregnant?"
I definitely took Lupe surprised when I asked him this one very randomly! We had only been married about 3 months, and during our premarital counseling we both agreed to wait a year before starting our family. But, one afternoon while Lupe was at work- I started thinking and 'planning' in my head (we all know how dangerous this can be). According to my 'calculations' on paper, the clock was ticking- not that Lupe and I were OLD, but we weren't young either. Lupe is 9 years older than me, and if we waited a year- assuming it probably wouldn't happen immediately- I would be 33, and Lupe 42 when we had our first- putting 3 years between the 3 children we had initially planned to have- meant I would be around 40 and Lupe 50 when we had our last (did I mention I was a planner)and I wasn't loving the thoughts of that.

3 Months

Okay, in FULL disclosure, I guess I should confess that there are some underlying reasons for my sudden change of heart.
I mentioned earlier, that my team of doctors- years previous- were doubting I would ever be able to have children. They wanted to do tests to make determinations of all the damage my body had endured, but I chose not to look into my fertility possibilities, and would cross that road when/if necessary. So, 3 months into our marriage I was ready and wanted- no, needed- to know. Well, I thought we better take my uterus out for a test drive. Also, I was very lonely, lost, and a bit depressed- I've never thought it fair to give a child a job upon conception- but I guess I kind of did that, the job was to fill my void and bring another element of happiness. Of course, these are things that children naturally bring.

6 Months

Lupe said YES- he had no argument to begin trying to have a baby RIGHT then and there!! We decided to keep it quiet and didn't say much to anyone about our decision. We had tried a few months and I still wasn't pregnant- after reading that as a Diabetic I should ideally see my doctor before hand- I made an appointment. Lupe and I went in and met Dr. Edwards, he told me some things I needed to do to prepare my body and also told us to STOP trying until my body was ready. UGH! NOT what I wanted to hear- but I did comply, well sort of.
There was that ONE time! Wouldn't you know that it's when you stop trying that you actually get pregnant! That's what happened!

8 Months

I remember taking the test- POSITIVE, then Lupe said to go get another to make sure. I called my mom on the way to the store- so excited. The doctors were WRONG! At the same time, I was a bit nervous- I hadn't taken all the med's the doctor wanted me to have in my system.

3 wks to go, and swollen!

I went a couple weeks later to do the confirmation with the doctor. I'd been feeling pretty good up and to that point. We went in and Dr. Edwards was pleased that at least I'd been on the med's over 30 days and had all the other stuff done. After our appointment we decided to celebrate with my favorite- chicken wings and a salad- not a smart choice! We lived 45 minutes from Houston, where my doctors were, the whole drive home I was beyond sick! We finally had to pull over so I could run into the bathroom and get sick, and sick, and sick- to the point of almost passing out- unfortunately this would be my fate for the next 9 months.

Tenly's here- Perfect!

But, the best part of the beginning  of this story is- the Doctor's were so wrong- and my God showed Himself so faithful.......................and although I was having a difficult and lonely time- I was gaining a whole new part that I'd dreamed of my whole life.