Perfection Will Never Happen and Being A Great Mom is Defined By You and Not By What Everyone Else Thinks..
Sunday, June 5, 2011
The BEST "OOPS" That's Ever Happened....
OKay- To be honest, I had planned to write something else- but then I thought it only fair to tell this part- on top of the fact that it's just plain WONDERFUL.... Who's Plan Are We Suppose To Follow Again?
I'm a planner! I like everything organized, you know the "There's a place for everything, and everything in it's place" kind of girl. My family pick on me about being OCD- I am so NOT OCD- although I can be a little extreme at times- but have gotten much better (I don't vacuum 3 times a day anymore). I like things clean and neat and despise clutter. If it doesn't have a use, purpose, or truly important meaning- it does not belong. I use my organizer/planner to coordinate and plan everything- my husband I go to bed with our plan for the next day. I, and my family, function best this way.
I said all of that to say this, I (we) 'planned/organized' our family also. But, my plan was clearly not 'His' plan. We weren't going to have children for 1 year (although, I already wrote about our intentional change of plans on that one), we wanted 3 children all 2-3 years apart. Isn't that a great plan? Of course it is, just not the one for us!
Tenly was 10 MONTHS OLD when I found out I was pregnant with our second baby. I was sick, and unreasonably emotional. Quick story, I was in church (didn't know I was pregnant) and VERY aggravated at my husband over something (Lupe and I rarely fight)- I was so upset I had to walk out to calm myself down. I was trying not to look/talk to anyone because I knew I'd get even more upset. My friend, Carrie, saw me and immediately knew I was not okay. I told her, I can't say anything, I'll cry more. She finally convinced me to talk to her, and after I explained how horrible Lupe was and how upset I was she had a funny look on her face as she quietly shook her head. Carrie then gently took my hand and asked, "Jenn, are you pregnant?"! I laugh now, because I was so aggravated that she said that- I just looked at her and said NO, I cant be! Looking back, yes, I was very unreasonably emotional!
You see, I could not be pregnant because I was birth control and breast feeding- so there was NO way! Boy, was I wrong. After crying while watching a comedy sitcom, I put my shoes on and walked out of the house. Lupe ran after me asking what was wrong and where I was going, while sobbing I yelled I was going to buy a pregnancy test. He was STUNNED, and 3 pregnancy tests later I was still in denial.
I was so scared to be pregnant with a child still in diapers, this WAS NOT in my plan- and I had told God MY plan- wasn't He listening?
My pregnancy was much like my first, except I only lost 29 pounds during my 9 months of sickness instead of the 39 I lost with Tenly. I remember Tenly's 1st Birthday party- I had about 80 people outside 'partying' while I ran in and out of the house puking. My WONDERFUL friend (couldn't of done it without her), Sandi, decorated, held my hair while I puked, cleaned up, and took care of Tenly when Lupe took care of me. No one but Sandi and Lupe really knew how bad I was doing that day- I was a great faker that day!We found out we were having another girl (I was blessed with a husband with no gender preference for his children). I always loved the fact that I have my Daddy's initials- and since we had decided that this would be our last child- we thought that would be a great thing to do with Gianna Avie. The end of this pregnancy was crazy- I ended up in ICU with a pain in my ribs under my chest that they couldn't diagnose. While in there I gained 20 pounds over night- literally- no exaggeration. It made the doctors confused and concerned when we couldn't get rid of the water I was retaining. After being put on bed rest and finally finding out Gia's lungs were developed- my doctor called me at 9pm to tell me to come in at 5:30am for the c-section (she was breach).
Gianna was born at 7:32 weighing 7'6 (she was a month early)- she was perfect and came to the room immediately- No NICU this time! What a miracle!
That's why Gianna Avie, is the best "OOPS!" that's ever happened to me! Gianna wasn't in my plan at that point- but she was in God's plan- which just shows that His plan IS perfect!