Tarah: Honesty is The Best Policy

My friend Tarah is sharing today. I met Tarah after moving to Texas; she had just graduated from TBI and had started working on staff for the ministry for a few years. Love and Stephen Gonzales won her heart and whisked her away to start their “happily ever after”. Tarah is so wonderful, strong and full of wisdom, but the one thing that stands out to me is her beautiful sense of style. She’s one of those girls you look at and wish you could put stuff together like that (at least I do). Here’s a little bit about Tarah and her Mom journey…

 I'm Tarah, a working mommy of two and a wife to the man of my dreams. I met my husband Stephen while in Bible College. We became friends at first, but were both in separate relationships at the time. We would never have dreamed, back then, that we would one day spend the rest of our lives together. Following Bible School I got a job on staff at the Bible School Ministry. Four years after having meeting Stephen, he came out to the school one weekend for a retreat. Our friendship rekindled, which eventually became a marriage. Four months after being married we found out we were pregnant with our first we were so ecstatic! (We had no idea how unprepared we were!) I wanted a boy so bad, I don’t really know why- I would even say to myself I don't have anything against little girls so why do I want a boy so bad?? A few months later we found out that that desire of my heart came true, we were going to have a son named Judah. 

Judah has been such a joy to my life. He is so tender hearted, ready and willing to learn EVERYTHING. He has a silly sense of humor and his own way of doing things. Judah does not have to 'fit' in to the crowd; he does things on his own and minds his own business. He is very much an individual.
Stephen and I were very happy with our little family, and didn't quite know if and when we wanted another child. But, needless to say when Judah was 1 and 1/2 we found out we were pregnant with our second. I was happy, but I didn't quite know how I was going to handle two kids financially, physically, emotionally...etc. We had our little girl, Adah, in September- I was so excited to dress her up in frills and bows.
My little girl has become the delight of my heart; she is strong willed and acts like she is 10 months going on 10 years. Adah is very determined and won't let anything get in her way. She is also very analytical and observant; she picks up on things quickly and already has quite a vocabulary at 10 months. This little girl has truly blown us away and become the completing component to our family; I couldn't imagine my life without my kids.

Are you a Scheduled or Non-Scheduled Mom? What are the benefits and downfalls to your choice?
When I was a stay at home Mom...yes, I was very scheduled as far as feedings and sleep times. But as I’ve started working full time again, I give the babysitter a guideline and then let her take it from there. I've learned to be flexible in this area.
What is your biggest Mommy Pet-Peeve?
I absolutely hate whining!! My sweet little boy has a talent for it that is teaching me patience (big area I’m working on!!) I've learned that usually when he's whining it's because he wants or needs something. Since he is approaching 3 we are learning how to use our words to ask nicely!!
Your funniest/most embarrassing “Mom/Child’ moment?
Shortly after having Adah, I was learning how to get to church (and other places) in one piece. I made it to the nursery with both the kids and one of the nursery workers informed me that the lining layer of my skirt was nicely tucked into my panties!! Uhg...they understood because they are moms. But, my husband is the student pastor at our church so no telling how many other people saw me on display as I walked it!!
Given the opportunity, what- if anything- would you do differently as a Mom?

Oh man so many things I would do differently, and my kids are still young! I know one thing; I would have NEVER given Judah a drop of Juice, EVER! Even though we diluted it with water the child got seriously addicted. BIGGEST. MISTAKE. EVER.
Did the way you were parented shape that way that you parent your own children? YES!!! I find my self always thinking what would my mom have done in a situation. Since I’ve grown up, I ask her for advice often. I think I perceived her as much more strict than she actually was when I was young. I lean on my Mom a lot. Sometimes before I discipline my kids, I make a quick call to my mom to ask her its ok or what I should do. Ha, my kids don' t have a clue that I don't know what I’m doing!!
What are your “non-negotiables” when it comes to your kids?
Naptime is definitely a non negotiable for me. I have much happier kids and they have a much happier Mommy after they have a nap!!
What was your biggest fear when you found out you were going to be a Mom? Honestly with Judah, I wasn't scared at all (but I should have been) we were in no position to have a child, I thought I knew more about kids than I really did. But Gods grace got us through and he provided. Judah is one of the greatest gifts God has given me. With Adah I had a little bit more of a head on my shoulders but wasn't expecting to have a second just yet. God had spoken to me about her a couple months before I found out I was pregnant and He gave me her name. I laughed and said well that won't happen for a while if AT ALL. A couple months later, boy were we surprised. SO surprised, I cried although I knew it would be ok. I was very confident telling Stephen it would be a girl and what her name would be. God has taken care of us tremendously with her.
Did you breastfeed- why/why not? Did you feel pressure to/not to?

With Judah I tried it once but he was sick and had to be in the NICU. I was so overwhelmed; the nurses insisted it would be ok to put him on formula.. so I did. With Adah I was determined to breastfeed, it was painful and I hated it, but I was still determined. I tried for a week but my milk didn't ever come in significantly. Stephen finally talked to me and told me it was ok to not breastfeed her; she would be fine, so I reluctantly stopped. She has been a very healthy happy baby and I have no regrets now.
 One thing that you do for your kids- because you love them- but you absolutely dread it every time!?
I let Judah watch Yo Gabba Gabba (sometimes), I absolutely HATE that show, but he absolutely loves it.
What is something you said you would NEVER do with/to your children that you have found yourself doing?

I said I would never give my kids Juice, did that- not with Adah though.
I said I would never cook separate meals; Judah is very picky, did that. We are working on his eating habits. If I can get somewhat of a healthy meal in him I am happy. Even if it means he is eating something differently than what we did.
And, I said I would never let my kids sleep in bed with me- did that. Adah never has, but Judah did all the time and still sneaks in every once in a while, they are just different kids.
Labor with drugs or without drugs?
Oh, definitely with!! I think it’s the most wonderful thing in the world!!
Your biggest Mommy “Aha” moment?
Realizing that everything is not a big deal, kids will learn and grow at their own pace. And letting Judah pick out his own Froggy potty was a big aha moment lol
What is the best piece of advice you could give to a new Mother?
Well, I think honesty is the best policy, and I don't feel like Moms are honest enough with each other. Being a Mother is one of the most extraordinary things you can experience in life, it is also one of the most challenging. It’s ok to not know it all, and to not be a perfect Mom. I have learned to admit my weaknesses to my self and to God. I am not perfect by any means as a Mother, but I have learned to humble my self, admit it, and rely on God's help and wisdom.

Newborns are tough. I was in shock at how much I had to get up at night- I hated it. Judah would wake up every two hours and feed for at least 30 minutes, I was getting about 4 hours of sleep at night. I was miserable and felt like it would never end and I would never enjoy being a Mom. But it DOES end. Eventually they will sleep and not cry as much, and you will enjoy Motherhood. Every stage is different and every stage has its wonderful moments and challenging ones. Bottom line is, God gives us kids to grow them up and he gives us kids to grow us up. I am so very grateful to him for allowing me the experience to be somebody's Mommy.