Monday, July 23, 2012

Lane'e: Ice cream In The Shower, Gotta Do What'cha Gotta Do..

My friend, Lane’e took a break from her busy life to answer my many questions on “Mommyhood”. Lane’e and I go back (like so many others) to Texas Bible Institute. I actually met Lane’e's (very new) boyfriend, Jeremy (who would be her husband), first. Jeremy was actually in Lupe and my wedding; I remember when they were driving down to Florida from Texas the week before the wedding- all the guys said Jeremy was on the phone with Lane’e almost the whole time except when he was sleeping.
The rest is history; they were engaged and married a year later. I loved that I got to help Lane’e find her wedding dress, and even helped out at the wedding a bit (everyone knows how happy wedding stuff makes me).

Lane’e is an unbelievable Mom with 2 beautiful little girls (I love that there’s another Mom out there that takes and posts as many pictures as I do of their kids and family). She works tirelessly for the youth in their ministry along side her husband, but her family always gets that much more. It has been amazing to watch this young women develop into such an incredible Wife and Mother regardless of any circumstance around her, although I never doubted she would.

My name is Lane'e and I have 3 children, my 5 year old, Jaci, my 2 year old, Jeslyn, and my husband, Jeremy. Jeremy and I met at Texas Bible Institute, were married in 2006 and have been in youth ministry ever since. I am blessed to be able to stay home with my girls, but I do take part time classes at Angelina College.
I am working very slowly towards a teaching certificate while being a Mom and working with the youth. The church and students we serve are fantastic and we know we are right where God wants us. I always knew that God had called me to be in ministry, I just wasn't sure where. My journey as a Mom began very early in our marriage, but I wouldn't change anything. I am looking forward to the fact that in my early 40's we will be empty nesters, going on mission’s trips, and devoting our life even more to the ministry. I have learned that God is faithful and He always has a plan. I am living the life I have always dreamed of and I couldn't be more thankful.

Are you a scheduled or non-scheduled Mom?
I am definitely a non-scheduled Mom. I will say that this past year I have become more into a routine than ever before. I do believe that when my children get bored they get into trouble. I have thought about creating a loose schedule to try and follow, but I have yet to do it. It's just not my personality!
My biggest Mommy pet peeve? 
I could go on for days answering this question (as most Moms could). I would have to say my biggest pet peeve would be judgmental glances from strangers when I am correcting my children's behavior. Sometimes I was to ask them if they have any children for themselves, because if they did they would understand. I'm sorry if they don't like it, but my daughters will be well behaved and respectful. I need to add that I CANNOT stand when I see a child neglected or left in a car by themselves. I have on occasion waited for the parents to return and explain to them how dangerous that is. It just gets under my skin. 
My funniest "Mom/child" moment?
I have a whole library of these! One that sticks out in my mind happened about 1 1/2 years ago. We had recently moved to Lufkin and became the Jr. High pastors of Clawson AG. A lady from the church was bent down talking to Jaci and Jaci said, "You have yellow teeth, you need to go to the dentist!" I about had a heart attack! What do you say after a comment like that, no matter how true it might be? This came two weeks after seeing a lady at our doctor’s office that was missing some teeth. Jaci very innocently asked the lady "What happened to your teeth?" The lady responded, "I fell down." Jaci replied "Then why are they all black?" Mortified is not the word to describe my emotions. After these two incidents I made it very clear to Jaci, if she has a question about someone to wait until we are in the car to ask Mommy. I can't be upset with her though; she calls it like she sees it! 
What would I do differently as a Mom? 
This is a tough one, not that I am perfect by any means. I have a long list of Mommy mistakes that I wish I could change. I guess this is so hard for me because my children are still very young. I will have to say I wish I would of been more prepared for everything that Motherhood brought to me. I had Jaci 2 weeks before my 21st birthday. I think I would Mother differently had I been a little older. 
Do you have a Mommy confession?
I don't think I have anything exciting to confess. I did eat an ice cream cone behind the shower curtain the other day, so Jeslyn (2 yrs old) wouldn’t see me eating it. LOL that’s great parenting skills right there! Does the way you were parented shape the way you parent?
Yes, my Mother just oozed love for me, sometimes at a fault. She did the best she could and she loved me to the ends of the earth. I am very blessed to have such an awesome Mom. 
What are your non-negotiables when it comes to my kids?
I will not put up with disrespect towards myself or any other adult and I do not allow them to say hate, shut-up, stupid, or fat. Those are bad words in our house. Fat got attached to the list when Jaci (5 years old) told me that I was fat! Recently I have had to explain to her that these are not "bad" words, but they are not kind words to say.
Did you breastfeed your children? Did you feel pressured to or not to?
Yes, I did breast feed both of my girls for about 4 months each. I remember my Mother pounding in my head that I needed to breast-feed. Later I found out that she only nursed me for 18 days! The way she talked about it, she had nursed me forever. I do not agree with culture sending messages to Moms who chose not to or can't breast feed, that they are less of a Mother. It's your body a d your baby and you will figure out what works for you both. Something you do for your kids because you love them, but you absolutely dread it?
One thing that I do for my kids that I dislike it's brushing their teeth. That is my least favorite thing to do. Luckily Jaci can brush her own teeth now and I am working with Jeslyn.
Anything that you said you would never do as a Mom, yet you find yourself doing it? 
That would have to be picking my battles with my girls, especially the 2 year old. Pre children I would see a child doing something and I would think, I would never let my child get away with that. Now that I have children I have learned that you need to pick your battles. Not everything is important to go to WWIII on. 
Labor with or without drugs?
I choose labor with drugs. They are available so why not give yourself a little comfort. My Mom had me au natural and kudos to her! I think it's a personal choice that each Mom needs to make for herself. 
Have you had a Mommy “Aha” moment?
My most recent "Aha" Mommy moment was when I was having a difficult time with an impossible family member. This person would tear me down and just be awful. I have never stood up for myself against this person and I had decided enough is enough. Let's just say the phone conversation was not productive. She was having surgery that week so the girls and I made a card for her. I was trying to love her like Christ loves her no matter how nasty she spoke to me. Later that week Jaci kept going on and on about the card we made her, so she would feel better. Jaci didn't know about the phone conversation. Then it hit me, I did not matter how this person treated me, and all that mattered was how I responded. The example I give to my children is all that mattered. That changed my perspective big time. 
Best advice you could give a new Mom?
The best piece of advice I could give a new Mom is taking it easy, enjoy every moment, and don't overact. Sleep when the baby sleeps and don't be afraid to ask for help, even if it's only 10 minutes to take a shower. Put make up on and fix your hair every now and then, it will make you feel better. Don't neglect your relationship with your husband- that is very important!

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