Sunday, August 5, 2012

A Little Time, Please!

Do you remember your "Pre-Mom" days? I will have to admit, it really is difficult to readily remember doing much of anything without the list of things that go along with having 2 little girls.
Church is probably the most obvious that comes to mind. When it was Lupe and I, we would wake up to lounge around the house for a bit having coffee and breakfast, watch the news, have some devo time, and then hit the showers and take our time getting dressed (we are morning people, can you tell?). Then baby #1 came. Saturday night, I would pack the diaper bag and lay out clothes. Sunday morning, I would wake up 2 hours before Tenly to make sure I was completely ready when she woke. Tenly would wake up, I would get her out of bed, change her diaper, feed her breakfast, let her relax a bit, change the diaper again, get her dressed, fix her hair, grab the diaper bag, and out the door we went. Of course, there were usually 3 or so runs back into the house before we were out of the driveway to get on our 45 minute drive to church. As baby #2 came along, well- just double everything you just read above and you pretty much have our morning.
But, that was the equation when going anywhere when the kids were under 2 years old. It may not be impossible for everyone, but it was near impossible for me to decide to do something and be out the door in under an hour without losing a bit of sanity (and if I am not presentable, make that 2 hours). Now that my girls are a bit older, 4 & 6, it is getting easier, but still not "full-proof".
You may be wondering where I'm is a bit of an irritating topic for me. But, I am hoping that some people who are beyond the "kids stage" or those who have no little ones- may be able to learn/remember something here.
As Mom's of young ones, it's not that we do not want to be spontaneous, stay out late, or run out the door as soon a friend calls with an invite. Everything shifts in the world when you become a Mom, we are not allowed to be "selfish" anymore. We are required to think about our itty bitty little people first- and we are usually okay with that. But, am I the only one who feels guilty some times saying "No.." or "I just can't.." and whatever the situation or explanation may be, you just don't feel like it's good enough? For example:
- Don't you love when you get those last minute invites to head out to do something in the next 15-20 minutes as if it would even be close to a possibility because your child is napping, it will drastically mess up the schedule or the kids are just straight up crabby?
- I cringe with a bit of jealousy when people tell me of a fun spontaneous trip or outing they went on. If the kids are in the plan= double the packing and planning, if the kids are not in the plan= less packing and planing but a lot of prayer (and money) goes into finding a trustworthy babysitter at the last minute.
- You receive a phone call about a wonderful event that your friend gets you so excited about that is followed by, "Oh, but you can't bring the kids.."
- A friend rolls their eyes when you explain that you cannot do something because a.) your child is sick b.) you cannot get a sitter c.) you have just experienced a sleepless night with your child d.) you have been so busy that you feel your kids need you (and you need your kids) more than a night out.
How about when all of that stuff just stops happening? No more spontaneous invites, events, or activities because they don't want to hear an excuse, reason you may not be able to do it or all of the things you must check on before you commit.
One Thanksgiving, our family went to San Antonio to be with Lupe's family. At the last minute we decided to get a hotel room and stay the night to hit the sales early in the morning (we lived in a very small town). No clothes, make up, or toiletries- just the diaper bag and the normal essentials you take with you on a 1 1/2 hour road trip that involved a 10 month old and 2 year old. After a Wal-Mart run, we managed quite nicely with my sanity still in tact. BUT, that is not something that I could handle more than once a year or so.
We can still do a lot of things that fall into the categories mentioned above- but it is still not the same and requires more work/thought/stuff. I have tried to explain this at times, but I get the "uh-huh" deep sigh rolling eyes brush off- they say they get it, but they really don't...YET.
One more thing, our "fun" is different- it used to be wrapped up in outings and friends- that does still bring a smile- but fun is now in Hungry, Hungry Hippos, laughing at/with our kids, our kids discoveries and so much more. I guess I am just trying to say, help us Mom's out- we so badly need/want/desire FUN events and activities- but we are so much more fun to be with when we are not frazzled by last minute or concerned about our most precious kiddos. Oh ya, pacify us by at least pretending you appreciate all of our stories and pictures, too. Just sayin' for what it's worth.....

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