Learning From 1st Graders

My oldest daughter, Tenly, has started going to a new school this year for First grade. It has been wonderful to have her friend, Lexi- my friend Joanne's daughter- in her class. Because they are going to a charter school, it is about a 10-15 minute drive from our home- UGH!

Joanne and I are so lucky to live near each other and be able to carpool- so we pick Lexi up and take them to school and Joanne brings the girls home!

We have all been amazed, and amused, by the girl's conversations during the car rides to and from school. There was a conversation that took place last week that I stood out and made me proud of these 2 young ladies.

Gianna, my youngest, loves to tag along to drop the girls off for school and on this particular day decided to bring one of her leap frog writing games along. When Lexi hopped in the car, she and Gia started playing together with it.

Well, it didn't take long for Tenly to start feeling upset that Lexi was not giving her the attention that she felt she deserved. She kept trying to lure Lexi over to focus on her, when it did not work Tenly began to pout and cry.

I tried to explain to her that she needed to relax and join in on what Lexi and Gianna were doing. She refused, and I just left it alone for her to work out.

After a few minutes of hearing Tenly whine/pout/cry, Lexi very calmly tells her, "Tenly, you know how you are feeling very sad right now?"

"Y-e-s.." Tenly responded in hiccupped cries.

"Well", Lexi continued, "that's how I feel when you don't play with me at school. I play by myself sometimes and wish you would come over and play with me."

"You do?" Tenly asked.

"Yes, sometimes it makes me sad too." said Lexi.

Tenly was very concerned, "Lexi, I didn't know that. I never want to make you sad!" She looked at me not sure what to do with what she just found out. "Mommy, I never want to make Lexi sad, I didn't know she was sad."

I explained to her that it was okay that she didn't know, and then asked what she was going to do now that she did know. She told me she didn't know what to do. I could tell that it was really bothering her that she had hurt her friend unknowingly.

"Maybe next time you see Lexi playing by herself you can ask her to come play with you. And Lexi, if you are by yourself, go over to Tenly and ask if you can play with her- do you both think you could do that?" I asked.

They both responded with an excited "YES!" and then Lexi also committed to Tenly to do the same thing for her if she was ever playing alone.

A few minutes later in the middle of another conversation Tenly says, "Lexi, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, I didn't know and I want you to be happy."

Lexi responded with, "I know, Tenly- thank you for making me happy."

I was so impressed by the way Lexi communicated to Tenly how she had been feeling, how Tenly took responsibility for her actions and committed to doing her part to make it better.

This Mommy learned something from a couple of 6 year olds that morning, and was very proud!