The frustrating part of it is this: I've been here before, and I shouldn't be here again. I thank God He is patient and tolerent, or else He would of left a long time ago with this girl.
I vividly remember years ago when I was going through a challenging time and said those exact words to God. In that moment, I heard God's voice very clearly say, "..and thats your problem..". Of course I was like, WHAT? God, so patiently explained to me that so often, we create more problems and stress for ourselves because WE keep trying instead of letting go and letting God do it. Sounds so simple, and really it is- but can also be the hardest thing to do. Honestly, this situation is bigger than me- but we can only do our part and have to let God do His part.
So, I've been here before- and more than once- so WHY am I here again!?!? Maybe much of it is my control issues, no big secret that I have those!
With Lupe looking for a new job making what he is now is creating some stress and bringing up this challenging area for me to let go and trust God. It didn't help that yesterday when I took Tenly to the doctor, we discovered she is having a very difficult time seeing out of one of her eyes. To top it all off, there are several members of my family going through some very difficult things right now. My prayer life is definitely increasing, I find myself frequently saying, "Jesus" many times during the day when my mind starts going into overdrive and overwhelms me. Something about the Name of Jesus truly brings peace.