Chelsey:"A REAL Housewife of Glenwood Springs"

Chelsey, a wonderful Texas friend, was so kind to answer a few of my "Mommy Questions". It didn't surprise me at all that she had me laughing through many of her answers. Chelsey and I became Mom's around the same time while we were both on staff at the camp, and found comfort and many laughs with each other throughout some difficult times.
A great memory of Chelsey was when I went to the hospital to see her while she was in labor with her oldest, Aspen. The nurses directed me to her room without hesitation, so I was caught off guard when I walked in. I found her laughing and asking for food as I then had to walk past her legs hiked up and extended with Dr. Edwards down there stitching up "her stuff"- while over in the corner her husband, Michael, was holding perfect Aspen Rose. But, that's Chelsey!
Our girls, Tenly and Aspen, even had their ears pierced together with our friend Kim's little girl, Bella. Because Tenly was about 16 months old, I was terrified to do it, so Chelsey and Kim held her to have them done. Wouldn't it figure that she didn't even cry, I totally underestimated that kid.
Chelsey has always been a very understanding friend who could always make me laugh in the right moments, and keeps me "grounded". It was a sad and happy day when they drove all of their belongings off of the camp road to start their new life in Colorado. But, it has been wonderful to see all the dreams they are experiencing together as a family.
Here are some of Chelsey's insights and experiences as a Mom:

Ears Pierced: Chels & Aspen, Me & Tenly, Kim & Bella

My name is Chelsey and my husband, Michael, and I are originally from Texas, and we moved to Glenwood Springs, Colorado in 2008. We had our daughter, Aspen, in August 2007 and our son, Gunnison, in August 2010. We have been married for 6 years and love living in Glenwood Springs. First, because it's so beautiful here. Second, There's so much to do! We love to hike, bike, swim, tube the Colorado, fish, hunt and many other things! We can do every single one of those things in our own town; we're on a permanent vacation!
Scheduled or Unscheduled Mom? What are the benefits and downfalls to your choice?
The only schedule that we keep is going to church every Sunday morning. I like my kids to fly by the seat of their diapers! I don't keep my kids on such a strict schedule that it can never be broken and the poop hit's the fan. We do eat breakfast, lunch and dinner and take naps around the same time everyday. Keeping the schedule a little loose allows my kids to be flexible in any situation. Man, when Aspen starts school it's gonna rock my world!
 What is your biggest Mommy Pet-Peeve?
My biggest pet peeve is when I see other parents allowing their children to pretty much do whatever they want with no consequence. Like throwing fits in the store, kids not sitting down in shopping carts, running amuck in public places, disrespecting authority, etc. Parents need to stop trying to be their kids friend and start acting like a parent. People wonder why so many teenagers these days are disrespectful and rebellious.

Your funniest/most embarrassing "Mom/Child Moment"?
We were in Khol's and my daughter all of a sudden throws up all over herself in her stroller (always keep a spare set of clothes even after potty training- you never know). I had to take her all the way across the store to the bathroom to get her cleaned up. I passed a woman and she gave me the ugliest face when she saw my daughter. I almost told her to take a picture so it'll last longer, but I didn't! It's not like I fed her ipecac so that I would know what it felt like to get myself into strange social situations, it just happens!
Given the opportunity, what- if anything- would you do differently as a Mom?
As a Mom, I am continually learning to have more patience. I'm sure that's every mom, though. My daughter is very strong willed and she knows how to push all my buttons. I love my daughter, but there are many times when I dislike her behavior and I am hoping that when she gets older, she'll use that trait to her advantage. There will be no stopping her and the goals she can achieve. But, in the meantime, she can be extremely hard to deal with!
Did the way you were parented shape the way that you parent your own children?
I think the biggest impact my parents had on me was the way they interacted in their own marriage. They didn't talk about things very much and never seemed to be on the same page. I always told myself that my marriage would be different, and it is. I believe that you need to have a strong marriage before you even think about bringing children into the world. 
I had a pretty great childhood, actually. Both of my parents worked, so I was a daycare kid from the age of 6 months to 12 years. During the summers I was able to go on all types of field trips and things, so I did get to experience more things than what my parents could have ever done on their own.
So, Mom's who must place their children in childcare- don't fret over the thought of leaving your kids with someone else all the time, kids learn a lot form interacting with other people an they'll make a lot of friends.
Did you breastfeed? Did you feel pressured to/not to?
I breastfed both of my kids and I plan to breastfeed the other children that we plan to have. It's kind of funny that with my daughter, I breastfed her until she was 4 months old and had to stop because I stopped producing. So, with my son I was bound and determined to not let that happen again. My goal wa to make it to 6 months and then go from there. When he was 3 months old, I got kind of tired of breastfeeding since it became more of a hassle (it was more difficult being out and about more), so that's when I weaned him. 
I never did feel pressured, but I did want them to have a good strong start. I'm all for breastfeeding, but would NEVER pressure a mom/new mom to do it. I would certainly want them to know all the facts about breastfeeding vs. formula before making a decision. New Mom's have plenty of worries without others adding their expectations- support is the best thing to give to a new Mom.
Do you have a funny "labor" moment?
When I was in labor with Aspen, I had to push for over an hour! My husband was on my right side holding up my head, and then right in the middle of a big push his elbow hit the button to lower the bed (it happened more than once!). Everyone jumping asking, "What just happened?" It is funny to think of now, but not then!
When I was in labor with Gunnison, because of how long I had to push with Aspen, my husband thought it necessary to pull up a stool to sit on so he could be comfortable, too! TOO??!  There was no TOO- I was in no way, shape or form comfortable!
They checked my cervix when I was at 6, so the OB went to take a nap (8:30am) while I was transitioning. I started to feel a lot of pressure and the urge to push, when they checked me I was at 10 (9am). They made me wait to push until they were able to get my OB in the room! I had to "hold him in" for 30 minutes waiting for the doctor- my son was born at 9:42am! I was NOT comfortable!
What is your "secret" addiction or obsession?
I guess I feel like I don't have enough drama in my life, so I watch all of "The Real Housewives.." shows on Bravo..New Jersey, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, New York, etc! I definitely get my drama fix!
One thing that you do for your kids, because you love them, but you absolutely dread doing it?
Brushing their teeth! I know, it's sad, isn't it? But, my husband dreads it, too! I cannot wait for the day when they can brush their teeth on their own, but until then, it's a necessary evil.
What is something you said you would NEVER do with/to your children, which you find yourself doing?
I always said that I would NEVER let my kids drink soda. My daughter is almost 5, and I only allow her to drink clear sodas with no caffeine. My son is almost 2, and he can only have lemonade. My kids drink water, milk, and 100% fruit juice most of the time, but soda and lemonade is something they only get on occasion.
Labor: with drugs or without drugs?
I had epidurals with both of my kids and I plan to continue to do so for my future deliveries. I'm all for women who choose to go all natural...they're more "woman" than I am! HaHa!
What is the best piece of advice you could give to a new Mother?
Some new Mom's know their limitations and want/need help while others are gung-ho "I'm gonna do this without any help" Moms. Please know that there's no shame in asking for help and advice. Don't try to be Super Mom because you'll run yourself ragged trying to do so. Being a Super Mom comes with time, practice, and a full nights sleep (in other words, almost impossible)! 

A Real Mom, Living In The Moment: Martha

Let me introduce a college friend, and my cousin, Martha Vasquez Sosa. Although, Martha is my cousin, I did not have the opportunity to really know her until she began going to college at SEU with me (we come from an extremely large family). She has such an incredible heart; it is easy to fall in love with her almost instantly. Martha was even so kind to grace us with her talent by playing her viola is I walked down the aisle on my wedding day. She has, on more than one occasion, encouraged me and given me advice on ways to encourage and teach my children at home. Martha is one of those teachers who teach out of her passion for children and not the paycheck……

Martha: I’m a proud wife, mother to two beautiful boys, and 3^rd grade teacher in central Florida. I play viola in a string quartet. I love word games like Scrabble and Words with Friends, and I’ve recently been diagnosed with ADD and I’m finding my groove.

 I haven’t always been okay. Years of counseling and prayer have helped transform me from an abused, depressed child into a somewhat productive, pseudo-normal person.

I grew up in a multi-family setting and moved at least twice a year. With so much instability, school became my safe haven. I poured all my energy into school and was desperate for the encouragement and affection my teachers gave me. Music was my outlet, and I was blessed with music scholarships to fund my college education. God made a way—and here I am married to the kindest man on the Earth, raising 2 precious boys, with the job I've always wanted.

I’ve embraced my past. It’s mine. It formed me and prepared me for the little lives I teach every day. I learned first-hand what NOT to do--and the life altering impact adults can have in the lives of children. I also learned God’s will is perfect and His grace is sufficient.

Are you a Scheduled or Non-Scheduled Mom? What are the benefits and downfalls to your choice?
I'm a proud unscheduled mom! Learning and beauty are found in spontaneous moments and organic living. Yes, for sanity's sake, we have a time to eat and a time to go to bed, but the rest of the day holds a loose "bucket list" of things that need to be accomplished as we get to them. Sticking to a schedule is more stressful--so much my consciousness is focused on the schedule, that I'm unable to enjoy the moments, discoveries and laughs with my kids. It's like a child struggling to sound out words in a story...the decoding is so labored that at the end of the story, he doesn't know what he just read. I never want to allow what is "supposed" to happen steal away the magical moments with my boys. 

What is your biggest Mommy Pet-Peeve?
My biggest mommy pet peeve: parents who do not parent; parents that expect the teachers to teach hygiene, manners, character, etc. It breaks my heart that, on more than one occasion, I've had to actually teach a 2nd grader how to set his/her alarm, how to set out clothes for the next day, how to bathe at night (even if you don't want to), and to put on CLEAN clothes after he/she gets out of the tub, how to make breakfast for themselves and younger siblings and how important it was to make it to the bus stop on time..."yes, honey, I know mommy and daddy are still sleeping, but I'm counting on you to be responsible enough to get yourself clean, dressed and ready for school." ::heartbreaking:: But kids will rise to the occasion. Every time. 

Given the opportunity, what- if anything- would you do differently as a Mom?
One thing I would do differently as a mom was journal. Daily from the time I found out I was pregnant. I wish I could recount each day with my boys and know the smallest, meaningless milestones...alas...

Did the way you were parented shape that way that you parent your own children? How?

Yes, my parents shaped the way I parent. My dad was in prison most of my childhood and my mom was dealing with her own issues and finding the answers at the bottom of a bottle. I actually made a list of qualities that I would/would not replicate. My dad has a strong work ethic, my mom snuggled with us everyday, my dad is hilarious, and my mom is frugal... I observed not only my parents, but also my youth pastors, pastors, my friends parents, etc. I took notes, prayed and asked for wisdom. I knew I'd never be a perfect mother, but I did want to be a thoughtful, prayerful mother. I wanted to act and speak with purpose. 

What is your biggest Mommy “Aha” moment?

My biggest mommy "aha" moment was realizing that these tiny little people have enormous personalities, complete with their own decision making skills (irrational 2 year olds) and an agenda carved in stone. All those times I said, "My kids will never __________" came flooding back to me. 

What is the best piece of advice you could give to a new Mother?

The best piece of advice I would give to a new mother would be this: Don't compare. Don't compare yourself with other moms. They are crying and confused sometimes, too. Don't compare your baby with other babies. Each miracle is perfectly crafted with God's hands and desperately needs prayerful, wise parents to prepare him for the purpose God created him. Embrace the tearful moments. And if you're exhausted, you're doing something right. Having a child has cemented all I've known about God's character, selfless love, patience, and beauty...

Oh, The Mess!

The "play-date" mess picture I posted.

The other day, my girls had their friends Lexi and Audrey come over for a play-date after Kidz Camp at church. They were beyond excited, I was going over the list of rules which the four of them agreed to with pleasure!
At the end of the play date, I posted a picture on Facebook of the "damage" our little apartment suffered at the hands of four little girls "creativity". I was honestly a bit shocked at many of my friends reaction to the picture...but, let me back up for a minute...

When my girls were much younger, they frequently made a huge mess- much bigger than the other day. My friend, Annette (who has children the same age as mine), shared with me an article she had read that encouraged parents to allow a modge podge (not to enforce the "one thing out at a time" rule) of all different toys to be played with at the same time because it fosters creativity. After thinking about it, I totally agreed and embraced the huge mess of toys that began to encompass my house daily. My Mom to this day says she was always so proud- and shocked- of my allowing this to happen.

I didn't mind the mess as long as it came with the understanding that they would also clean it up. When they were younger, I of course would help clean it up- but insisted they be right along side me doing it. As they were older, I naturally expected them to do more with less enforcement. Well, let's just say as I starting getting more resistance instead of compliance- I drew the line! I was all for creativity, but not at my expense and sanity every day!

Yes, I am one of "those Mom's" who insists that everything is put away in it's proper place before anyone is in bed every day. Yes, I even pull them out of bed if it's not done right.  My girls are at the age that I do expect them to care for, take care of, and put away there things in an orderly fashion. So, we now implement the "only one thing out at a time" rule. They actually have grown to appreciate it now, because it only takes them minutes to clean up instead of an hour (with constant reminders of "clean up", "get busy", and "you only have 5 minutes left" in their ear). I do have the same expectations of myself, I do not get into bed until everything is cleaned up and put away- neither does Lupe (poor man, lol).
So, back to my picture the other day. I had a few people comment on the picture "that's nothing" or "that's how my house looks every day"- which gave me a little laugh. The next day, I was speaking to my friends Joanne and Joelle- I had an "aha" moment which I feel kind of stupid about, lol.

They were both telling me how they laughed at the picture also because, "that's nothing" they said. Apparently, I am not grouped in the group of "typical Mom's with typical expectations". They informed me that there are times they cannot even walk in their kids bedrooms because of all the stuff everywhere, it is common to wake up to a sink full of dishes, it is common to leave the house with unmade beds, etc. 
Don't get me wrong, I knew that there were Mom's who went day to day like this- but I really didn't realize that it was more the norm than what my "norm" is. I asked other Mom's later that day how they ran there households and what there expectations were. There were a couple who were like me, some fell in between, but 7 Mom's out of the 11 I asked were more laid back like my friends, Joanne and Joelle.

Not that one is right or one is wrong. Sometimes I wish I could just roll with the punches and make other things the priority- but I just can't do it! I do realize it all comes down to balance, my friends tell me they wish  they could be more like me as I am wishing I could be a little more like them.
I say all of that to say this: So, many things are a matter of perspective, awareness, and a willingness to learn and change. This silly little "Aha Moment" I had,has made me want to reach out to others for their perspective because I have a willingness to learn and perhaps make changes. I have some Mom's who have so graciously told their stories and answered questions. It has been so intriguing to see other points of view. I will be honest, there are are certain idea's that I firmly believe in as a Mom- well, reading about a different perspective on those ideas, I now understand much better why Mom's choose to be that way.

I remember when all of Tenly's toys fit in this box!

I hope you enjoy reading and learning from other Mom's, as I know I will, over the next few weeks.

The Most Important Decisions You Will Ever Make

What come to mind when you think about the most important decisions you will ever make?
When talking to various people, and researching what others consider to be "Life's Most Important Decisions", majority gave several of the same answers:
- Whom you will marry.
- Religion.
- Your career.
- Where to further your education.
- How many children you will have.

- Where you will live.

I absolutely agree with this list. Of course, "religion" moves to number 1 with me- and it goes beyond just "religion"- but rather a choice to invite Jesus into your life to be your Lord and Savior. There is no question, that this is the most important decision one will ever make, it effects the quality of your life today, tomorrow, and in the "hereafter"- and every other decision you will ever make.
There is a decision that Lupe and I had to make recently that is not on this list. To be honest, I am not that surprised that it wasn't listed or said- but Lupe and I both agree (as I'm sure many others would) that it is an extremely important decision that should never be taken lightly.

The Church you choose to attend.

I honestly believe this is one of the most important decisions one will make. The Bible tells us many times how important it is to surround ourselves with other believers (Heb 10:25) and to use our gifts within the body of Christ to minister to others (1 Cor 12:7). 
The church you commit yourself and family to should provide a place of rest and refuge when you are facing pressures and temptations, a place of encouragement when you are down and out, a place of hope and help when you are in need, a place of learning and instruction to help you become the person God wants you to be, and a place to find lifelong relationships with people that can love and befriend you. Nothing is more precious and valuable and fulfilling than to worship the Lord with fellow Christians, to see your children brought up in learning about Jesus, to spend your time doing things that will count for eternity.

Lupe and I found a great "fit" at Community Christian Church when we first moved to South Florida. A few things we loved about this church is how approachable and caring the pastoral staff was- especially for such a large church. CCC has MANY opportunities to be involved, from Bible Studies, Women's Ministry, Children's Ministry, and the numerous outreaches to the community. They truly love people. I think that was Lupe, our children, and I needed most at that time, just to sit back and be loved on and accepted. We were not just a number, we had a name and the staff made it a point to know us and love on us.

Recently, Lupe and I both started feeling like it may be time for something new, something more. We were happy at CCC, but there was something pulling at us. One day at work, Lupe was connected to someone who gave him a card introducing him to Save The Nations Church. That card laid on our desk for a couple of weeks, finally one day I went to their website and was intrigued by what I saw- we decided to visit.
The service at STN was wonderful, we walked in feeling the tangible presence of God and left feeling challenged in our spiritual walk. I'll be honest- it would of been easier if we wouldn't of liked it. It would of been easier just to stay where we were- NOT to make a change. 

We new God was bringing a change- and as difficult as that can be- it comes with MANY benefits to be in His perfect will. A few weeks ago, we both felt God had released us from CCC after my commitments to the Women's Ministry were fulfilled.
PEACE! We are so at peace with our decision, and the Pastoral staff at CCC were so loving as we let them know we were making a move. We are excited- and a bit nervous- to begin at Save the Nations Church. I can't wait to see what God has for us next.

At 7, A Journey to Forever..

What a wonderful opportunity to brag on my incredible husband of now 7 years! Lupe and I were friends over 10 years when we finally started "dating"- well I guess you can call it that! I went to Bible School in Texas back in 1995- THAT is when Lupe and I met. We were very good friends, and after I graduated in 1997, we kind of lost touch. We did speak or see each other when I would visit occasionally- but that was it- considering he was in Texas and I in Florida, we drifted apart. 

One afternoon, we began chatting while online- he is an extremely slow typist- so he asked for my # to call me later. Well, he did call me and we talked every day from then until the day, 3 months later, that he flew to Florida to visit (the pic below). Before Lupe left to head back to Texas 3 days later, he proposed and I said an enthusiastic, YES!

Our first "Official" date. AND, he proposed before he left.

We began making wedding plans for a year later in Florida.

Our Engagement pictures in front of the home we began our marriage and family.

Our wedding day was spectacular. I will be honest, things did go wrong- and things were not done as I would of preferred them to be in some instances- which is difficult for a control freak as myself. BUT, I remember very well on THAT day. I wasn't really frazzled by it. I was to excited to be getting married to the love of my life. As much as I would of preferred everything to look exactly as I planned, I was too focused on Lupe and I "beginning" to worry about details. If it was done- great, it it wasn't- oh well, but one thing I was sure of is how much I loved that man.

I remember thinking how CRAZY we were for planning an outdoor wedding in Florida in May- it seemed like a great idea until that day! What was going on underneath all of those layers of that wedding dress is not even describable- let's just say I was sweating pretty intensely.  I have pictures of my bridesmaids holding up my dress fanning me!

One of my favorite pictures! He caught me completely off guard! I love him!

Best Day EVER, May 21, 2005.

Lupe surprised me with a trip to the Kemah Boardwalk and we stayed in their Inn- it was such an incredible getaway after Summer Camp was over! Not to mention, I love a good surprise!

We had just found out we were pregnant with Tenly. I think I'm hiding being "sick as a dog" pretty well. When this dress was first fitted to me, it looked great, by the time of the event I had lost 20 pounds- it was comfy!

Lupe surprised me for our First Anniversary dinner at my Favorite steakhouse- Taste of Texas-, with Ben & Ashton. I was 8 months pregnant and puked for over 20 minutes in the restroom- but it was worth it for that delicious steak and desert!

2 weeks away from Tenly's arrival!

2 Christmas Banquet Pictures. I was 8 months pregnant with Gianna in my "Barney" dress. 

 

I remember one Anniversary in particular, it was either 3 or 4. Lupe and I do like to surprise each other, but I rarely have the opportunity. On this Anniversary, I decided I was going to do the surprising. I arranged for a friend to come to the house at like 4:30am, I woke Lupe up and told him he had 20 minutes to get dressed and get in the car. Yes, he was very taken off guard and looked more not happy than happy with my surprise. While dating, we would do just that- he would call me and tell me to get dressed and we would head to IHOP- "our place"- we'd stay for hours just being together. When we finally arrived in Houston, he was very pleased (and tired) as we pulled up to "our place". We followed our yummy breakfast with a favorite past time- yard saling and grocery shopping (really!). About 20 minutes after we arrived home, a couple of friends showed unexpectedly (to me), that's when Lupe informed me that I now had 45 minutes to get dressed up for a surprise he had for me. It took all of them to convince me he was not kidding, Lupe had tickets to a dinner theater to surprise me with. It was a wonderful and very long day! We are no longer allowed to surprise each other without notifying the other that a surprise is coming. LOL!

Off to Celebrate Valentines Day....without our children!!

Date Night on Clearwater Beach, great vacation!

Lupe surprised me AGAIN, with not only a date DAY, he even lined up the childcare for the afternoon.

We had the opportunity to go back and visit where we were married, Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa, FL. 

Los Olas Beach in Fort Lauderdale.

Oh, how I love this man! I love more today than yesterday, and more and more with every tomorrow. So glad I am so blessed to spend FOREVER with him!

The Cry of My Heart..

I am a huge fan of Ann Voskamp. I just took the opportunity to read her post The Happy Mom Manifesto. Although, it is titled for "Mom's"- this is something that should be at the heart of every person. 

As I have been writing this blog at about a year, I went back and reread many of my posts. I read all the way back to a wonderful and most difficult move from Texas and the process my heart had to go through in turn. As I read down memory lane, I was proud of the lessons I have learned, the kicks in the butt that made me better. It brought me joy to see I finally forgave in many instances, and I was eventually happy I did, lol. There was so much satisfaction at the walls I had torn down, the barriers I had put up, and I- at 30+ years old- was finally learning to take correction and be chiseled. I am stronger, I am better, I am (more) stable, I am trusting, and I am (always) still evolving.

Back to Ann's Post. As I am this journey to continue "Finding Myself" and my purpose, this post, The Happy Mom Manifesto, seemed to package what my hearts cry is.

I encourage you to follow the links to the post and Ann's site of incredible, candid encouragement and knowledge- I am going to post it here. I hope your heart is touched as mine was.

The Happy Mom Manifesto

         1. The only thing that has to be written in stone is when to pray.

Because it’s not schedules, busyness, or deadlines that keep one from prayer. The only thing stopping one from praying is self. {Excuse-making can be a cheap cover for idolatry.}
If one’s not praying regularly, it’s only because something else is regularly loved more than God. 

2. Even if everything goes wrong, love is always right. There is ridiculous hope in this.

3. Whenever you want to throw your hands up, throw them around someone instead. Holding someone always helps holds things together. 

4. God didn’t put people in your path mostly for your convenience; He put you there for theirs. This is a wonder and a grace. 

5. Why be afraid of anything —  when our God is using everything? 

6. Pick flowers. Pick grace. Choose joy. 

7. This is always a choice: You can erupt — or pluck.  You can be an Erupter — or a Plucker. You can choose. 

8. Be radical about grace and relentless about truth and resolute about the real hills worth dying on. 

9. Say yes to one game every day and laugh loud. No empty-nest mama looks around and wishes she did one more load of laundry. 

10. Happiness isn’t when the house is perfect. Happiness is when His Word and your walk are in harmony. 

11. And every happy homemaker knows that the secret to real homemaking is not about making perfection. Home-making is about making a home.
A perfect home may not at all be a neat as a pin home. The point is not a house as neat as a pin or Pinterest pinnable.The point is a house pinned together with sacrifice and Christ and love that can withstand any winds. 

12. Unplug often to get refreshed. You’ll see your true self when you look for your reflection in the eyes of souls not the glare of screens. 

13. Make yourself a roof.
Love bears all things and it reads stego in the Greek — literally a thatch roof. Love means you bend your life into a roof and take the rain and the wind and absorb all that might come a beating. 

14. The only life worth living is a scandalous one: scandalous love, offensive mercy, foolish faith. Let joy live loud in your soul. 

15. Only Speak Words that make Souls Stronger.