Perfection Will Never Happen and Being A Great Mom is Defined By You and Not By What Everyone Else Thinks..
Friday, December 23, 2011
Refocusing My Perspective
This has been such a wonderful Christmas Season for me. My girls really, REALLY get it this year and their excitement is absolutely contagious. That's why I'm determined not to let the circumstances we are in cause me to lose my joy or my perspective.
We have to decide within the next week whether or not to resign our lease at our apartment. But, truly- the decision is made- we don't have a choice. With all of the financial changes over the past couple of months, we just cannot afford to live here anymore. We really only wanted to be here for a year and then buy a home, but the reality is, we are not in a position to do that either.
It is very important to me that we find a place within Tenly's same school zoning. I only want her to have to change schools one time (if at all) and would like to reserve that for when we buy a home (my dream). I moved around to different schools so much as a kid and I do not want that for her at all.
The timing of when we have to be out and having the money is just not falling into place.
I have a tendency to fall apart in these situations- I am just not wired to deal with the logistics of a timeline/change/money- especially when they are all combined! When we bought our last car, it was so stressful I literally shut down on more than one occasion. So, the last couple of days I have begun to do the same. I don't even want to look at another house/apartment/condo/townhouse until I know all the logistics are worked out.
I cannot allow my "wiring" to excuse my behavior, emotions, moods, and reactions. Because I am aware that I am "wired" this way makes it even more my responsibility to change it. Things are so much worse for so many, and I must go back to that place of being thankful. Thankful that we are having a wonderful Christmas with our family, and can do it the way we need/want to without asking permission. Thankful Lupe has a job, and it's now 7 minutes down the road. Thankful that, although I need a job, I am home with my girls for these couple of weeks. Thankful that my family is healthy. Thankful I have wonderful doctors. Thankful we have a car and it has gas in it.
I am also trusting God for Divine Opportunities and Appointment concerning a home and a job. This is the hardest thing before, but if I look back on history, God has always been Faithful.
My Sister in Law, Debbie, gave us this adorable interactive Manger Scene a few years ago. We have done it every year (except last year it was in storage), but this year my girls get it. It has been so wonderful to see their eyes light up as we open 1 box a day (the week before Christmas), each box reveals a character in the Christmas story and tells of the role they played in Christ's Birth, ending the story explaining that each of us is what God wants for Christmas. Tenly and Gianna's excitement to this story has helped me, yet again, to regain my perspective...
I am Thankful for Mary and Joseph being so obedient and giving birth to the Saviour of The World who took my sin and shame and provided me with Grace and Mercy and Unconditional Love.