Day 3: Was This A Good Idea?

Before reading this post, you may want to first read: "What Do You Expect?" Then, "Day1: Giving Up Control, A Little Bit." Then, "Day 2: Stressing My Kids?" It may make a little more sense with the back story to this "experiment".

Was this a good idea? That question kept rolling through my head as I tripped/jumped/avoided toys, markers, crayons, books and  paper spread all over my house. I avoided going into Tenly and Gianna's bedroom to much- they played so nice all day- but I knew with that was coming a tripling of "the mess". 
They sounded so cute, so at one point I went in to see what they were up to- oooohhh my! 
"WOW", I said when I walked in to see Tenly's bed covered with what seemed like every toy they owned. The sting of "the mess" did fade as they both excitedly told me what they were doing. "Mommy, come and take ride with us on our boat raft that we made! We have food to eat, books to read, food for the fish, sharks and alligators, even lotion so we don't get too much sun- aren't we using our smart brains?!" It quickly became a picture of a vivid imagination instead of "the mess"- how can one (me) be overwhelmed by that?

The day and "the mess" went by a bit easier after that moment- of course with the help of ironing, laundry, and cleaning the bathrooms.

By the end of the day as the girls were taking their bath, I took the opportunity to do a walk through surveying the state of our home and "the mess". I was proud that I was less overwhelmed and started to think of how I would approach "the clean up" on Thursday. I knew it was going to be overwhelming- but that was another teachable opportunity- if we clean up as we go every day (I will leave out "quickly without being reminded"- learning patience and endurance) it is not as much and we don't end up crabby and overwhelmed. I think we will make a list together of what we need to do and break it up during the day. Anyway, I am getting ahead of myself...

As I stared at the mess in their bedroom (the living room was not even a thought after looking at it), I started imagining what bed time was going to look like with the mountain of toys still on Tenly's bed. I decided that 
just in case they would choose to want to clean it up, I would start the bed time process a little early. 


"How am I going to sleep?" was Tenly's immediate response after staring at her bed.
 I had thought of what my response would be earlier (was not totally convinced it was the right one, but I gave it a shot), "I don't know honey, you guys chose not to clean up after playing- you have a few minutes before it's time to go to sleep- what do you want to do?"
"MOMMY, YOU are suppose to tell us to clean up!", Tenly said with her hands on her hips.
Gianna agreed with her hands also on her hips.
I explained, "No, remember- it is all you and Gianna's decisions until Thursday what you do and do not want to clean up. So, what do you want to do."
Tenly asked, "We get to decide now, too?" I nodded. "I don't think I want to clean up, I will just sleep on the floor."

OH, my heart! I calmed my OCD nerves as I agreed to let her sleep on the floor. Tenly quickly gathered her pillow and blanket and piled it on the floor next to Gianna's bed (which had no toys). We prayed, I dispersed kisses on their heads and left the room with a bit of a heavy heart. I was convinced that my "big idea" was accomplishing absolutely nothing. I realized I was going to have to come to grips with the fact that deep down my girls were the unthinkable....MESSY!


As I was typing at the computer, Tenly comes to me about 15 minutes after I had tucked them in. She looked very pitiful as she told me she didn't know what to do. I asked her what was wrong, and with tears rolling down her cheeks she said, "I miss my bed and I don't like that mess, I MISS MY BED!!" At this point, the Hallelujah chorus was resounding in my head! I explained that they had made a choice and it was past their bed time, it was to late to clean up now. She continued to cry and declare she missed and needed her bed. Okay, just so you don't think I am a heartless Mom with no compassion, yes, she was breaking my heart. SO, I gave her and Gia 10 minutes to get her bed cleaned off, no playing, and back in their beds. Here comes the exceptional part....

I expected them to both just throw all of the toys on the floor, obviously this would be the fastest and easiest short term solution. Then I hear Gianna tell Tenly, "Tenly, let's put it all in the right places really fast. Bring me the stuff in the closet and I will put it in the right place." Tenly responds with, "Good idea Gianna, then it will be all done when we wake up." Music to my ears, another Hallelujah chorus echoed through the house, and I did do a little happy dance (when they weren't looking).

My girls cleaned up that mess in record time, not even one little break to talk or play- THAT is impressive! Towards the end of the clean up I heard Tenly say to Gianna, "Gianna, we did it, we did it! We are the fastest cleaners ever!" Ten minutes after they began, I tucked Tenly into her bed with her Monkey Boy and she said, "Thanks Mommy, I love my bed."

The night ended very well. We have all learned something through this little experiment, and I think it has been well worth it. Even Lupe said last night that he cannot wait to have the house back to normal. As much as I have learned, Thursday is going to be a very  happy clean up day!

Day 2: Stressing My Kids?

Before reading this post, you may want to first read: "What Do You Expect?" and then read: "Giving Up Control, A Little Bit". It will just all make a little more sense.

Here I am! That's right, as of this morning, I have survived this mess of a house thus far!

Yesterday, I had to stop and laugh at myself MANY times. I cannot even count how much I caught myself about to say, "Girls, you need to pick this up.." or "You need to put this away.." But I did catch myself each time and never said a word. 

Girls bedroom towards end of day 1

I really don't think they noticed much until they went to bed last night. I did notice while they were taking their bath that there were toys on both of their unmade beds, it made me curious to see what would happen when they went to climb in to go "mimi's" (what we call bed time). I was actually on the phone with a friend while my husband was getting them ready to tuck them in. By the time my phone call ended, they were in their beds already. I asked Lupe if he had them clean up, and he didn't. I was very excited about this next part that he told me. He said they went to get in their beds and they said, "Daddy, we can't go to sleep- this is a mess and we haven't cleaned up yet!" WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!! But before I was carried away with excitement, he told me that it was probably more about staying up awhile longer than about cleaning up. Okay, that did take me excitement down a notch, BUT they DID realize "the mess"!!!!

Girls bedroom towards end of day 1

When I went in to give them a kiss, Tenly told me they only cleaned up a little bit. I explained again, that over the next couple of days it was she and Gianna's decision of what did and did not need to be cleaned up- and whatever they decided would be fine with me. Then she said, "Mommy, I think I like my room clean instead of dirty.." WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!! 
If you heard screaming and yelling anywhere in the USA last night, it was just me having a party over that last statement my 6 year old said. Now, she hasn't really done much of anything to back that statement up, but she still said it. So, I am left to wonder if she only said it because that is what she thought I wanted to hear- and that is possible (aw, MAN!). I guess am just excited that their is an awareness of the difference in our home without the messes being managed.

Living room day 1. Ironing in background.

I have been pleasantly surprised by my ability to function within this mess (of course it helped that my husband brought me home an Italian Creme Cake last night. Maybe it is because I know I am taking back over being sure everything is put in it's place on Thursday. Or, it could be thanks to my friend Martha instructing me to keep myself distracted. I have been doing that by catching up all of my ironing, working on my other blog ("Hot Momma's of Broward County" for anyone who didn't know) along with this one, and scrubbing my kitchen (I think I will scrub bathrooms today). 

What have I learned so far? Not really sure yet to be honest. I can tell you something I noticed last night. When I went in to kiss the girls good night, I noticed Tenly had made a little "tent" off of her bed for her babies. I feel vulnerable admitting this, but typically I would of insisted that it be taken down and folded at the end of her bed and all of her "babies" be put back in the respectable places. When I saw it last night and again this morning I realized how much joy it brought her to create it and have it be loved and accepted by myself- so is it really that important to remove that joy just so that everything looks "nice neat and pretty"- and no it's not. As much as my kids stress me out with me having to remind them 7+ times to stay on task- am I stressing my kids out by forcing them inside my dysfunctional "bubble".

Tenly's 'tent' morning of day 2.

I am documenting our "messy journey" with a few pictures and may even try to get a little video of my girls on the last day before I implement the cleaning of everything in celebration of my taking back control! So the pictures hear are of last night and this morning. Give me your opinion- how bad is it????