At 7, A Journey to Forever..

What a wonderful opportunity to brag on my incredible husband of now 7 years! Lupe and I were friends over 10 years when we finally started "dating"- well I guess you can call it that! I went to Bible School in Texas back in 1995- THAT is when Lupe and I met. We were very good friends, and after I graduated in 1997, we kind of lost touch. We did speak or see each other when I would visit occasionally- but that was it- considering he was in Texas and I in Florida, we drifted apart. 

One afternoon, we began chatting while online- he is an extremely slow typist- so he asked for my # to call me later. Well, he did call me and we talked every day from then until the day, 3 months later, that he flew to Florida to visit (the pic below). Before Lupe left to head back to Texas 3 days later, he proposed and I said an enthusiastic, YES!

Our first "Official" date. AND, he proposed before he left.

We began making wedding plans for a year later in Florida.

Our Engagement pictures in front of the home we began our marriage and family.

Our wedding day was spectacular. I will be honest, things did go wrong- and things were not done as I would of preferred them to be in some instances- which is difficult for a control freak as myself. BUT, I remember very well on THAT day. I wasn't really frazzled by it. I was to excited to be getting married to the love of my life. As much as I would of preferred everything to look exactly as I planned, I was too focused on Lupe and I "beginning" to worry about details. If it was done- great, it it wasn't- oh well, but one thing I was sure of is how much I loved that man.

I remember thinking how CRAZY we were for planning an outdoor wedding in Florida in May- it seemed like a great idea until that day! What was going on underneath all of those layers of that wedding dress is not even describable- let's just say I was sweating pretty intensely.  I have pictures of my bridesmaids holding up my dress fanning me!

One of my favorite pictures! He caught me completely off guard! I love him!

Best Day EVER, May 21, 2005.

Lupe surprised me with a trip to the Kemah Boardwalk and we stayed in their Inn- it was such an incredible getaway after Summer Camp was over! Not to mention, I love a good surprise!

We had just found out we were pregnant with Tenly. I think I'm hiding being "sick as a dog" pretty well. When this dress was first fitted to me, it looked great, by the time of the event I had lost 20 pounds- it was comfy!

Lupe surprised me for our First Anniversary dinner at my Favorite steakhouse- Taste of Texas-, with Ben & Ashton. I was 8 months pregnant and puked for over 20 minutes in the restroom- but it was worth it for that delicious steak and desert!

2 weeks away from Tenly's arrival!

2 Christmas Banquet Pictures. I was 8 months pregnant with Gianna in my "Barney" dress. 

 

I remember one Anniversary in particular, it was either 3 or 4. Lupe and I do like to surprise each other, but I rarely have the opportunity. On this Anniversary, I decided I was going to do the surprising. I arranged for a friend to come to the house at like 4:30am, I woke Lupe up and told him he had 20 minutes to get dressed and get in the car. Yes, he was very taken off guard and looked more not happy than happy with my surprise. While dating, we would do just that- he would call me and tell me to get dressed and we would head to IHOP- "our place"- we'd stay for hours just being together. When we finally arrived in Houston, he was very pleased (and tired) as we pulled up to "our place". We followed our yummy breakfast with a favorite past time- yard saling and grocery shopping (really!). About 20 minutes after we arrived home, a couple of friends showed unexpectedly (to me), that's when Lupe informed me that I now had 45 minutes to get dressed up for a surprise he had for me. It took all of them to convince me he was not kidding, Lupe had tickets to a dinner theater to surprise me with. It was a wonderful and very long day! We are no longer allowed to surprise each other without notifying the other that a surprise is coming. LOL!

Off to Celebrate Valentines Day....without our children!!

Date Night on Clearwater Beach, great vacation!

Lupe surprised me AGAIN, with not only a date DAY, he even lined up the childcare for the afternoon.

We had the opportunity to go back and visit where we were married, Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa, FL. 

Los Olas Beach in Fort Lauderdale.

Oh, how I love this man! I love more today than yesterday, and more and more with every tomorrow. So glad I am so blessed to spend FOREVER with him!

The Cry of My Heart..

I am a huge fan of Ann Voskamp. I just took the opportunity to read her post The Happy Mom Manifesto. Although, it is titled for "Mom's"- this is something that should be at the heart of every person. 

As I have been writing this blog at about a year, I went back and reread many of my posts. I read all the way back to a wonderful and most difficult move from Texas and the process my heart had to go through in turn. As I read down memory lane, I was proud of the lessons I have learned, the kicks in the butt that made me better. It brought me joy to see I finally forgave in many instances, and I was eventually happy I did, lol. There was so much satisfaction at the walls I had torn down, the barriers I had put up, and I- at 30+ years old- was finally learning to take correction and be chiseled. I am stronger, I am better, I am (more) stable, I am trusting, and I am (always) still evolving.

Back to Ann's Post. As I am this journey to continue "Finding Myself" and my purpose, this post, The Happy Mom Manifesto, seemed to package what my hearts cry is.

I encourage you to follow the links to the post and Ann's site of incredible, candid encouragement and knowledge- I am going to post it here. I hope your heart is touched as mine was.

The Happy Mom Manifesto

         1. The only thing that has to be written in stone is when to pray.

Because it’s not schedules, busyness, or deadlines that keep one from prayer. The only thing stopping one from praying is self. {Excuse-making can be a cheap cover for idolatry.}
If one’s not praying regularly, it’s only because something else is regularly loved more than God. 

2. Even if everything goes wrong, love is always right. There is ridiculous hope in this.

3. Whenever you want to throw your hands up, throw them around someone instead. Holding someone always helps holds things together. 

4. God didn’t put people in your path mostly for your convenience; He put you there for theirs. This is a wonder and a grace. 

5. Why be afraid of anything —  when our God is using everything? 

6. Pick flowers. Pick grace. Choose joy. 

7. This is always a choice: You can erupt — or pluck.  You can be an Erupter — or a Plucker. You can choose. 

8. Be radical about grace and relentless about truth and resolute about the real hills worth dying on. 

9. Say yes to one game every day and laugh loud. No empty-nest mama looks around and wishes she did one more load of laundry. 

10. Happiness isn’t when the house is perfect. Happiness is when His Word and your walk are in harmony. 

11. And every happy homemaker knows that the secret to real homemaking is not about making perfection. Home-making is about making a home.
A perfect home may not at all be a neat as a pin home. The point is not a house as neat as a pin or Pinterest pinnable.The point is a house pinned together with sacrifice and Christ and love that can withstand any winds. 

12. Unplug often to get refreshed. You’ll see your true self when you look for your reflection in the eyes of souls not the glare of screens. 

13. Make yourself a roof.
Love bears all things and it reads stego in the Greek — literally a thatch roof. Love means you bend your life into a roof and take the rain and the wind and absorb all that might come a beating. 

14. The only life worth living is a scandalous one: scandalous love, offensive mercy, foolish faith. Let joy live loud in your soul. 

15. Only Speak Words that make Souls Stronger.

Confessions of a Lazy Parent...

Regardless of my body's protest, I woke up early this morning to face the decision I adamantly made last night. I have been making comments for about a week that it needed to happen, my family all heard my series of rants loud and clear...although they didn't really acknowledge them or agreed with them.

My family, including myself, is in a very unhealthy relationship.... with the television. I feel like I (more than Lupe, because I am home with the girls the most) have nurtured and allowed  this relationship that I have always said would NEVER happen in my home.

I am not sure why Tenly's lazy refusal to read last night is what finally broke me, but it did.

Tenly did not even know that children's shows really even existed much until she was about 2 years old. I welcomed the "help" of the black box after Gianna was born, there were moments that I embraced the convenient baby sitter as if my long lost friend. Therefore, Gianna has almost always been aware of the TV.

I was still cautious about how much they were around and exposed to it. Also, closely monitoring what they watched (FYI: Just because it is a cartoon does not make it appropriate for a child.). Regardless of my intentions, over the years I find that "distraction" in our home WAY to much!

How I, we, ended up here I am not quite sure. It would be convenient to blame it on my children or my husband. But, since my kids only do what I allow, and I am home with the kids way more than my husband- I have to take full responsibility.

The reality is, I have become a Lazy Parent and conveniently hired Nick JR, Disney JR, and Sprout to babysit way to often. There is no getting around the convenience and ease of having these "babysitters" at our remote fingertips- but we parents also know that it doesn't make it right.

I am embarrassed that I have dreadfully become "....one of those...", the thing I always said would NEVER happen. I declared, proudly, that my kids would always be surrounded by books, puzzles, crafts, games and a parent sitting by doting on their every word and action.

To clarify, Tenly and Gianna are not glued to the TV- their imaginations are to big and energy to robust for that. But, they are in front of it way to much. They both LOVE reading books and doing puzzles and crafts and cooking- why aren't I capitalizing on that? Because somewhere along the line, it's become to much work- that is shameful.

Several months ago, Lupe and I found much of our time together was spent catching up on DVR. To help, we removed the TV from our bedroom (some are shocked we had one in there, and some are shocked that someone can live without a TV in the bedroom) and are so glad we did. We do not allow a TV in the girls room- and never will-so, in a way it was a double standard. But, although that helped, I (Lupe may disagree, lol) still feel like we should be able to function without the invasive 3rd party. My friends, Annette and Bobby, in Texas made a change not to long ago to benefit their family (they have 3 beautiful children). They "cut the cable" and eliminated TV from their home, and the results are more reading and family time- not such a bad thing! I have some friends in this area who only allow an occasional movie or DVD, and they and their children have lived to tell the tale, lol!

Today, when Tenly arrives home from school, I am going to apologize to both of my girls for being a lazy mom and allowing the television to steal our moments from us. The excitement of the many things we can do that are so much better to fill the void is hopefully going to spark them. I am a much better parent than this and am fully capable of caring for my children without allowing "that thing" to be constantly interfering.

We are not cutting the cable or getting rid of the TV, but it will have specific times of when it will and will not be watched. Our family time will be filled with fun and entertaining each other instead of depending on the black box to fulfill our every need. I am going to press for "No TV Monday's", on this day the TV will not go on at all.

Funny enough, today (and all week) it is suppose to be raining ALL DAY! Talk about getting creative! We've made it through with making collages, doing puzzles, dancing, reading many books, and a little cooking. Although, Gianna is losing patience with me typing at this computer, so it's time to wrap it up.

LAZY- I despite that word and hate it associated with me. So, the change begins- it is going to take work and probably hearing some whining  along the path- but it will be worth it. Taking responsibility and making a change, I believe it is one my girls will thank me for one day......well, it better be!

Me + New Project= Accountability......

I have been avoiding writing this post. As I am finding myself heading in a new, scary, unknown direction, it is time for me to write about it. The only problem is, my fear of failure. There are not very many people who know about my little project I've been working on- and that has been comforting. If people do not know about it, I will only be considered a failure to myself and a few others IF I do not succeed. On the other hand, if I put myself out there and let everyone know what I'm doing- I am able to accept encouragement, advice, and am allowing to be accountable when the times get rough and I'm discouraged. Is the possibility there that I wont be successful? Sure. Is the possibility there that I  will be successful? Sure.

The things that roll through my mind are questions like: What if people laugh at me for even considering such a task? What if no one believes in me? What if I do all this work with NO success? Am I even able to take on something this big? What if everyone I approach rolls their eyes at me? What if no one helps? What if no one cares? What if this really is a stupid idea and I can't see it and no one tells me??????? The list goes on....

The part that excites me, is that despite those and other questions- I am going to do it anyway. 

For the past 6 weeks or so, I have begun writing a book. Now, let me clarify- not any type of story or anything like that (that truly terrifies me)- but a resource guide. What type of resource guide? I'm so glad you asked!A resource guide for Moms in the South Florida area. Listing everything "Mom's"- from freebies, activities, parks (did you know there about 500+ parks in Broward County alone!), schools, home schooling, mom groups, sports leagues, links, education, etc.

When we moved to this area, I looked for a resource such as this to help us adapt to our new home and area- and didn't really find anything. Thank God I found myself in a Mom's Group at Community Christian Church where the other Mom's were able to recommend doctors, parks, and many things to do in the community and surrounding areas.

Within the last 6 weeks of research, I have discovered SO much stuff in the South Florida area that I am excited to try out and tell other moms in the about.

The literary field is very intimidating and the more I learn, the more intimidated I get- kind of like a Chihuahua being stared down by a Bull Dog. The only thing that qualifies me for this task I am taking on is being a Mom- although that in itself is a lot of qualifications, it still leaves me feeling like I'm drowning and overwhelmed at times.

A wonderful friend gave me some great ideas on some ways to gather more information and put it out there. So, I am going to be starting another blog (as soon as I have an afternoon to get the many pieces together) to tell people about all these wonderful paces I am discovering and laying the ground work to compile the information into a great resource guide.

I am going to ask a HUGE favor....I need everyone possible to follow this blog- even if you don't read it much- pass it along to others after you sign up to follow it! It would really help me as I begin the process of developing a proposal to contact/speak to literary agents and publishers. Please keep your eyes out for the new upcoming "mom blog"- I need you to follow that one, too!!! That's right, I'm resorting to begging.

This blog is going to be changing a bit- I really want to begin telling the stories of other moms and women out there to have a variety of perspectives on many things. So, if you have something that be relevant to another mom or family- message me. I have a whole list of mom's already who I am going to be contacting to give perspectives on things!

Hold me Accountable- I need you to! I can do this- with God's help, and I am going to try my absolute hardest.

Random Happenings of Late and Peace

I'm feeling just a tad guilty for not blogging in some time- it has not been intentional and at the forefront of my mind. I have mentioned before that I do not write a post for the sake of just writing one, I always want there to be a purpose behind what I write- sometimes it's to help me, sometimes it may be something I think could help another and sometimes both. Well, every time I've sat down to attempt a new post, I had nothing. So, I've waited and now here I am.My mind, my spirit, my thoughts, ME- are in a good place. I wake up in the mornings to peace. To many that may not be such a big deal. But after the roller coaster my family has been on within the past 18 months, peace is welcomed, adored, and embraced. Mind you, the past week has been a little crazy.

After I was not able to attend a dear friends wedding at the last minute (that I was bummed about), but we decided we would go ahead with the already planned trip to Clearwater to visit with my parents over Easter weekend. We went sight seeing, had lunch with cupcakes and ice cream before Lupe had to head home to work and we stayed to finish out the holiday. Swimming, Easter egg hunts, Easter dresses, Easter baskets, church Easter celebration, and a sick little girl. On Saturday afternoon while we were swimming, Tenly began feeling yucky and we later discovered a high fever. After a couple of days we had a nasty cough to match the fever that she then shared with her sister. After missing 3 days of school, it looked like she was doing well enough to return the next day. That is, until she was up all night coughing and the fever returned the next day. Yesterdays doctors appointment revealed a double ear infection and bronchitis- YUCK!

Gia is still recovering but both are finally doing better. (Dreading a whole weeks worth of makeup work)

In the midst of that, another infection showed up on my right chin (total count now is 5  infections). This one was minor in comparison to the others and is already disappearing and I am thankful.                                                                                                                                          Also, Yesterday, Lupe had some dental work done. After the feeling returned to his face, he was instructed to take 4 Motrin to ease any discomfort. So, at around 5:00pm he did just that- it wasn't until he couldn't keep his eyes open that we realized he had taken 4 Motrin PM's! Needless to say, he was out for the night. Not that it adds anything to this story, except it was quite funny! The whole family is currently on some type of antibiotics for something. Now just to make sure we take the right ones, lol! (Lupe is no longer allowed to manage or buy medications)

"You POOR thing..." has been said to me regarding the craziness of the last week. I found myself very frustrated by these comments- this is nothing! I was not sharing the situations for pity, but just to communicate a typical wife/mom's events of the day. I guess I needed, or wanted, to hear how great everything seemed inspite of the very small curve ball thrown at us. Don't feel sorry for me, come on- in comparison to all the other junk- this is nothing! We got this, God's got this! It kind of makes me laugh now, because we are just the opposite place of that- we are in complete peace. Not that I do not appreciate concern, I guess it just hit me the wrong way.

We are finding our family at a bit of a crossroads having to make an important decision (I can't go into details YET). As Lupe and I were talking last night (before Lupe drugged himself to sleep), we were discussing options and how we felt directed in the situation. My heart was overwhelmed and thankful as Lupe put his arms around me, and as the man God has placed over this family, began to pray for clear direction in the situation. At that moment, once again, we were engulfed in God's peace knowing He was in control and everything would come together in His timing.

I have also taken on a project that I am both elated and terrified of! I'm not at a point of sharing yet (is that just mean??), but know I will in due time. Just pray that God will open the doors that need to open, I would have divine appointments and direction, and that I will not be controlled by fear of the unknown.