Love is A Verb

I have never been one to read more than one book at a time! I guess it comes from my need to complete a project before I start another...I don't know. BUT, as I got into my bed last night- I told Lupe that I was feeling pretty smart with my stacks of books and notebooks beside my bed- and I am in the middle of reading 4 of them (and Yes, that's Tenly's artwork on my Message Bible)! Anyway, the newest one I am reading is the book for our Mom's Bible Study, "Real Moms, Real Jesus"- it is such a great book- but I'll get to more of that in a bit.

I am so pleased to report, that I have a much anticipated "Meeting" every Monday evening! Okay, not actually meeting as much as a great time of "nothing" with my friend, Kim. We used to do this commonly and then summer came and scheduling conflicts with it and it just stopped. Well, Kim and I decided we were way past due and restarted our wonderful "nothing time". Just us and a cup of coffee in Starbucks with no agenda, but just to "be". This past Monday, we found ourselves discussing many different things- some with no depth and others very deep. One of the topics was, our witness to others in our daily lives/activities.
Kim and I were both raised in church and have memories of going door to door to witness to people with our families and churches- something that doesn't happen much anymore. Anyway, we were discussing what the most effective "witness" is- it can be very different for each person, I guess. She and I both agreed that to us, is The Love of God that people see in us.

My husband Lupe is a perfect example of this. In his position at work, he works alongside many people. Upon meeting these people, he didn't shake their hand declaring he was a born again Christian and telling each of them all of the unGodly things they were doing. Lupe did his job and conducted himself in a Godly manner and jumped on every opportunity to share the Love of God with his co-workers- and every time the response went something like this, "I KNEW it- I knew you were a Christian- there's just something different about you!" or "Is that why you're always so calm and happy all the time? Is that why you never get mad or stressed- because you're a Christian?" The same thing happened to me at work- I never came out and made a loud declaration of my Christianity- but every opportunity that arose for me to talk about the Goodness and Love of My God- I took. Two of my co-workers told me, "See, I knew it- that's why I never cussed around you, because I had a feeling you were a Christian."

I was reading the third chapter in "Real Moms, Real Jesus" after Kim and I had coffee that night. Ironically enough, it was about having a Gentle Spirit and gave the example of "The Woman at the Well" in John 4. It talked about the way Jesus talked and spent time with the woman and eventually, very gently, inquired about the man she was living with. He didn't condemn her or rebuke her- He loved her and spent time with her- and that drew her in and caused her to want to change.
There are times, that I have been told or even thought maybe I need to be more aggressive about God- but between my conversation with Kim and reading this- I walked away with the reassurance that The Love of God is what draws others in. Having empathy, compassion, and just listening can often leave the biggest life changing effects on others. Not to say that there aren't things I need to do differently and be more passionate about- but I am convinced that allowing others to see the love of Jesus in all we do, say, and live has a far greater impact than the best sermon that the best preacher could ever preach.
O lives should be the greatest sermon.........................

Not The Release We Wanted, But Release We Got

We waited, and Waited, and WAITED! There were times I would tell Lupe, "We're not waiting on Them anymore! How long are we suppose to wait? YOU need to call a meeting- I've HAD it!". Luckily, my husband is more patient and less emotional than I- and would wait it out. Looking back I'm so glad he did- in the moment I wanted him to wreak havoc!
It was hard, we were in limbo. I didn't know if I needed to stop packing, or to pack fast, we didn't have a start date to put on applications- so we couldn't really send out more resumes. We couldn't look for homes because we didn't know where we were going to find employment. Were we leaving within weeks?months?before Christmas?after Christmas?the end of the school year? I was thinking about Tenly starting school the following school year and really wanted to be established in the area she would be attending school. It was difficult to even get a meeting to discuss these issues/concerns and didn't know if our issues/concerns would even be considered in out exit date.

There was a wonderful gentleman who was hired to take over Lupe's department and Lupe had been training him for a couple months already. We were just waiting- and not so patiently on my end. The unknown scares me (as I've mentioned many times)- and there was WAY to much unknown going on! I didn't want to be bitter, but it was getting more and more difficult every day. In retrospect, I look back and see that the timing was right- just how it was suppose to be- it was all in God's plan. What proved to be difficult was when and how and the circumstances with which we were given our exit date.

We gave our notice the 1st of September, and waited, prepared at any moment to receive our exit date. The end of September came- Lupe had a meeting (that I spoke of earlier) with some discussions- but no date. October came and went with no meetings and no date. By the time November rolled around I was getting very anxious- Christmas was around the corner and I needed a PLAN!

A few days before Thanksgiving, a few little "situations" came up that were not so pretty- and in all honesty are a little comical. I don't want to drudge up old junk that I've really tried to let go- so I'm not going into any specifics. There was some miscommunication and confusion, that resulted in several meetings with my Husband. Through that whole situation, I don't know if I've ever been prouder of my husband. Lupe maintained his dignity, walked in integrity, took full responsibility where he did and where he did not need to. He was respectful, honest, and forthright- in other words he held himself true to being a very Godly and honorable man. Lupe called one morning and said he had been called into a meeting later that morning and he would call as soon as it was over. A little while later the phone rang, and I found myself totally not prepared...
"..2 weeks..", Lupe said. I laughed, I just knew he was joking (as prepared I thought I was). We had just been given our 2 weeks notice to move out of our house in Texas, move to Florida, find a job, find a home, and begin our new season. Not just Lupe and I, but our 2 little girls.

The girls helping us pack!

I wont lie- I was struck with fear- not just fear, I was terrified. What had we done? We had to little girls to think about. What were we thinking? I think I cried for hours. I was thrilled to have a date, but could not understand the logic and justification of giving us 2 weeks when they had known for 3 months- after Lupe serving for 15 years- he was given 2 weeks. I'm sure you can "hear" in my writing how angry I was.
I've gotten past it for the most part, in order to forgive I began to pray- I had to pray for them so I could love them again. I didn't want to love them because God said I "had" to- I wanted to love them out of the genuineness in my heart. I had my moment(s), that was a hard day, I was angry- and let myself be angry, I was hurt- and let myself hurt, I was sad- and let myself be sad. By the next day, I was relieved and ready- I was still feeling some of those other things, but let the anticipation of our bright future carry me past it.
I found and am finding a resilience in me....and I like it.........